Barbara Ehrenreich - Smile or Die: How Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Undermined America

[JDPriestly]

18. I did not understand Ehrenreich to be throwing up her hands and saying we have

no power. I think that what Ehrenreich may be objecting to is making people feel guilty if they get angry at bad treatment.

No. When Romney and Bain bought out good companies, bankrupted them and sent the employees packing, something bad happened. Those who profited from it may feel positive about it, but those who lost their livelihoods are right to be honestly angry and sad. The people who lost out did nothing wrong. The people who took exorbitant profits and left good people to fend for themselves did.

I have a friend who bought into the Secret lock, stock and barrel. She was always energetic, creative and pleasant, and since she has adopted this new "positive" philosophy she has developed a superficial, artificial optimism. Money is no object to her you would think -- and yet she was nearly foreclosed on her expensive home.

Her situation is quite dismal. Her "cheerfulness" is oppressive and dishonest in my view. I think she is a bit crazy. It's disturbing to be around her. She is always making fantastic plans and hops from one thing to the other. I suspect that she is suffering from pathological mood swings and that, rather than face the depression that is causing her problems, she calls it "positive thinking."

I think I understand how important thinking can be for success. Clearly, a person who completely lacks confidence can't achieve much. My personal experience is that focusing on what you want, analyzing what it will take you to get it and then comparing that to your strengths and weaknesses is the way to go. I find it works to be realistic but resilient. Setting unrealistic goals just makes us fail and then blame ourselves and become depressed. Telling ourselves that failure is a possibility and then analyzing in advance what the alternatives are if we don't succeed is, in my view, a good strategy.

The essential factor in my method (which has worked in my life) is being realistic -- neither optimistic nor pessimistic -- just realistic and calm about it -- very calm.

I have not achieved all I would have liked to achieve, but when I look back I am pleased that I did some modest things very well. I have used my talents to help others who were in difficulty and could not understand how to help themselves. That is the most gratifying professional achievement that anyone could hope for.

And that is another thing about the whole positive thinking bit that I don't like. The people who follow it set very materialistic goals. Today I'm going to get x dollars. That's the positive thought. That is just dumb in my view. Money is a means, not a goal.

I prefer these kinds of goals. Today I'm going to smile at someone who feels sad or even, today I'm going to be honest with myself.

I have a friend who was going through a difficult time and so she repeated to herself over and over "I am a good person and I deserve a good life." Nothing wrong with that kind of positive thinking. It acknowledges that you might feel bad but that doesn't mean you are bad. It doesn't impose guilt for feeling sad.

So I like what Barbara Ehrenreich is saying. I don't think she is being pessimistic. She is being down-to-earth and real.