Barbara Ehrenreich - Smile or Die: How Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Undermined America

[freedom fighter jh]

25. Attraction

I agree with most of what Barbara Ehrenreich says. But I think there's a different way to look at attraction.

Certainly realism beats delusion. But sometimes attitude can be improved with no compromise to truth, and that improved attitude can improve outcome.

Take the example of someone who loses a job. That person may feel shocked, depressed, frightened. That person may look at the job market and think he or she has no chance. With that attitude it will be hard to look for a job, and indeed there is *some* possibility of finding a job even in a terrible market like this one. After allowing some time for the shock to wear off, the person can sink into depression, or he/she could think "How *could* this work out all right? If someone can use my skills and experience, who is that likely to be and where are they likely to look?" In other words, it's by thinking positively that you can come up with something that is likely to work out.

Feeling good helps. There is no way you can feel great about losing a job. (Of course there are exceptions, like someone who didn't like their work and has some savings and not a lot of people depending on them, etc.) But within a range you can feel more or less miserable. There are lots of things you can do just inside your mind to feel good. If you remember that feeling good is important -- if only because we have only so many days to live -- then you are giving yourself permission to feel, if not good (under the circumstances) then less miserable. Remind yourself that what happened is not your fault. If you believe it is your fault, then forgive yourself, because your carrying guilt around does nothing for anyone.

This improved attitude will give you more strength to look for a job.

Attraction also works through visualization. Even people who don't believe in magic work this way all the time. See if you can get up from your chair and walk into the next room without visualizing or somehow imagining what you're going to do before you do it. Visualizing gives you a framework for a plan. It can work the same way with anything you want. That's not to say that if you write up a plan for $1,000,000,000 it will come to you (although some proponents of positive thinking may say so). But creating a plan that you believe in at least as a possibility will take you some distance toward getting it. And the more you plan, the greater that possibility seems, and indeed becomes for you, because of your focus on it.

I don't know much about what goes on in the corporate world. It seems quite plausible to me that corporations have distorted this message because the distortion works for them.

Barbara Ehrenreich says we have power together. Indeed we do. Attraction need not be a solitary activity. When you get together with people to plan things you can get a nice energy going. The difference in an attraction attitude, I think, is where you draw the line about what is realistic. You don't have to believe that what you dare to dream is definitely coming to you. You only have to open your mind to the possibility that it may come, and then think about how that would be, and then try to plan for it.