Ever had a near death experience?

[hunter]

62. My most recent landed me in a locked psych ward for three days.

I'll skip the details, but I know women who have cut themselves and I used to try to make sense of that. After my last experience with near-death mental health catastrophe, I had this sudden insight that males tend to be less direct in their methods of inflicting pain upon themselves. Self destructive males in this society can more easily hide behind a mask of testosterone-fueled stupidity, like you are some kind of hero if you go out into a dangerous surf, or fall off a cliff, or get assaulted by people with guns or knives (all things I've done). I'd probably read that before, or heard it before many times, but I'd never thought how it applied to me.

Maybe two thirds of my "near-death" experiences are a consequence of some sort of self-destructive behavior. I go into a dark place and need to feel something. Instead of cutting myself, I can put myself into a situation where someone else or simple physics will make me bleed, internally or externally, and maybe even brag about it later.