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fierywoman

(8,672 posts)

10. A lawyer, a priest and a rabbi are stranded on an island within swimming

Thu Oct 31, 2019, 11:40 PM

Oct 2019

distance from the mainland. The problem is, the water is full of sharks.
The priest volunteers to swim to the mainland for help, but he is eaten by the sharks.
Same with the rabbi.
Finally the lawyer starts swimming and arrives at the mainland.
Someone who had observed all this asked him, "How come the sharks let you through unharmed?"
"Professional courtesy," the lawyer answered.

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Do you have a favorite "lawyer" joke? [View all] red dog 1 Oct 2019 OP

Took me a minute. cilla4progress Oct 2019 #1

I don't get it. Feeling dumb! Beakybird Oct 2019 #3

Fux cilla4progress Oct 2019 #6

My bro told me this one, just a tad off color. Beakybird Oct 2019 #2

What do you have with a lawyer buried to his neck in sand? Lochloosa Oct 2019 #4

old classic Skittles Oct 2019 #5

No actually AdamThePhantump Nov 2019 #28

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? IggleDuer Oct 2019 #7

Do you know what happens when you give a lawyer Viagra? customerserviceguy Oct 2019 #8

ha! Fresh out of lawyer jokes, but an accountant told me this one: spooky3 Oct 2019 #9

A lawyer, a priest and a rabbi are stranded on an island within swimming fierywoman Oct 2019 #10

Like that one! Bayard Oct 2019 #11

I once told this joke to one of O J Simpson's second round of lawyers fierywoman Nov 2019 #14

A Rabbi, Hindu Priest, and a lawyer are stranded outside a farm DBoon Oct 2019 #12

Good one! nt LNM Nov 2019 #34

Good news/Bad news! lastlib Nov 2019 #13

A guy in a bar shouts "All lawyers are assholes!" Zambero Nov 2019 #15

Good one! MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #18

An old one DFW Nov 2019 #16

Variation on a theme. Collimator Nov 2019 #20

Good variation. DFW Nov 2019 #22

Rudy Giuliani edbermac Nov 2019 #17

That's downright spooky! MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #19

A woman was walking through a cemetery Doc_Technical Nov 2019 #21

California has the most DiverDave Nov 2019 #23

Q - "How does a lawyer sleep?" red dog 1 Nov 2019 #24

here's mine Marthe48 Nov 2019 #25

Washington State University recently began using lawyers instead of rats in their lab brewens Nov 2019 #26

Weren't the Marx Bros lawyers LakeArenal Nov 2019 #27

That was the law firm of Click-and-Clack the Tappet brothers Submariner Dec 2019 #68

Nah. We are both wrong. LakeArenal Dec 2019 #69

not quite a joke, but the simpsons katusha Nov 2019 #29

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road & a dead lawyer in the road? Liberty Belle Nov 2019 #30

I have a couple . . . Haggis for Breakfast Nov 2019 #31

I was told this one..... yuiyoshida Nov 2019 #32

Suppose you're trapped in a room Shrek Nov 2019 #33

Two lawyers walk into a bar..... MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #35

What's the difference between a lawyer and a steaming pile of horseshit? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #36

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #37

What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #38

What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #39

Q. What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW filled with lawyers? GumboYaYa Nov 2019 #40

What do you call a lawyer who represents himself as a client? JonLP24 Nov 2019 #41

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #42

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #43

Why do lawyers wear neckties?? SKKY Nov 2019 #44

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #45

What do dinosaurs and lawyers have in common? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #46

What's the difference between a lawyer and a cowpie? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #47

Yeah wait another year and I'll be one. 47of74 Nov 2019 #48

Lol, that is funny. JudyM Dec 2019 #83

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #49

What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #50

The difference between wing tips and cowboy boots? The Wizard Nov 2019 #51

Two lawyers Turbineguy Nov 2019 #52

How many lawyer jokes are in existence? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #53

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #54

What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pittbull? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #55

What did the lawyer name his daughter? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #56

Q)..How can you tell if it's REALLY cold outside? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #57

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #58

How can you tell a lawyer is lying? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #59

What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? MatthewHatesTrump2 Nov 2019 #60

What does a lawyer do with their superpower Beringia Nov 2019 #61

A lawyer went into the Emergency Room with his face covered with blood, red dog 1 Nov 2019 #62

Where can you find a good lawyer? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #63

What do you call 25,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? NightWatcher Nov 2019 #64

What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards? red dog 1 Nov 2019 #65

Q)..What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #66

A man walks into a bar and loudly says to the bartender, red dog 1 Dec 2019 #67

Know how copper wire was invented? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #70

Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #71

What's the difference between a lawyer & a gigolo? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #72

Why did God invent lawyers? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #73

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #74

Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #75

My favorite lawyer joke? calguy Dec 2019 #76

Whats the difference between a dead skunk Zoonart Dec 2019 #77

Here's one I posted the other day PJMcK Dec 2019 #78

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses, thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #79

This message was self-deleted by its author red dog 1 Dec 2019 #80

Q) - How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #81

What's the difference between a lawyer and an accountant? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #82

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a librarian? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #84

Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #85

What is a criminal lawyer? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #86

What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick? red dog 1 Dec 2019 #87

Why does the Bar Association code of ethics prevent sex between lawyers and their clients? MatthewHatesTrump2 Dec 2019 #88