I have a major dilemma in my marriage...and I don't know what to do.

[irisblue]

25. "Left doing all the work"

Looking at your past actions, do you have a pattern of her doing the emotional and physical (laundry, shopping)work in your marriage ; sounds as though you both have finances covered, from the minute bits you've posted here. Could she be reflecting a long established pattern between you 2. I can understand a slow building resentment if you've been a boy man in the marriage. I don't know you or your wife, every marriage has it weak and strong areas.
My reason for staying child free was very similar. If she is doing the great majority of work, in your marriage, I can see that she wouldn't want a second child. The stereotype of the man child does have a basis in reality. I can understand slow growing resentment would weaken a relationship. My best friend knew from high school she wanted to be a mother, she would have adopted the children no matter what, but her partner wasn't interested in it at first. 15 years later the 'under-interested' is the more involved parent.
I wish you both self knowledge and kindness to and from each other.