I have a major dilemma in my marriage...and I don't know what to do.

[TuxedoKat]

27. Sorry that you are in this situation

I think counseling is the way to go as you may uncover the truth that way or at least have some support if you have to make some tough decisions. The thing I wonder about is that from her actions, maybe she wasn't completely truthful with you about having kids from the onset. To me it sounds like she just doesn't want to have kids period and is making excuses by putting the blame on you and trying to make it about you not her. Sorry, I don't like being so harsh on your wife, but if she doesn't want kids period, you need to know that in order to know what you need to do for you. Forties and fifties are not to old to raise kids, for either sex, although womens' fertility starts to decline rapidly at this age. It may no longer be possible for her to have biological kids without the help of a fertility specialist and even then may not be possible. Unfortunately, I speak from some experience here re infertility, but happily have two wonderful kids through adoption. Good luck. If you have to, see a counselor on your own if your wife won't go.