Dumbest ways you've injured yourself.

[Nikia]

134. I punched a hole in my thumb with the milk machine during freshman orientation at college

The mechanism involved metal joints and I accidently lifted it up too far, which got it stuck on. To correct the situation, I pushed in one of the metal points which came down on my thumb. Somehow, it managed to get it out. The cafeteria staff helped me bandage it up and I insisted that I did not need to go to the hospital. It did stop bleeding but there was a significant hole there for a while. Within days, they had a different milk machine that did not have the safety hazard that hurt me. Evidently they switched the machine just because I was the first one stupid enough to get injured with it.
Another safety change that happened because of my stupid injury came when I rode my bicycle across railroads tracks and ended up with major scrapes and a bent bike. I walked to the nearest business, which was some kind of small office that allowed me to wash my wounds in their bathroom fixed me up with band aids. A week later, there were yellow signs up that said "Caution: Railroad tracks may catch bicycle tires."
As far as I know though, I am not the source of any weird consumer device warning labels like "Do not eat" on packets of dessicants.