This is how arguments start.

[Probatim]

5. I've learned it's mostly about control.

Sometimes (or if one spouse has gone through some shit) it's all about control.

They don't necessarily need to see the dishwasher organized in a particular manner or mustard on top of the dog, it's just the your spouse (or you) feels the need to exert control over lots of meaningless situations.

Once I learned that, I stopped getting mad when *insert whatever I did in the last 20 minutes* was corrected or criticized. Plus I stopped trying to be in control as well.