Is there any way to train cats to stop licking themselves?

[HopeHoops]

58. About as much chance as getting a teenage boy to stop rubbing himself. Good luck.

I normally don't mind the cleaning, except when they decide to clean their asshole on the pillow. Then I get mad. Normally they just wait for company and do it in the middle of the living room. Carlin did a skit like that, something about "you've got the little doilies out and are involved in idle chatter and you look over and THE DOG IS LICKING HIS BALLS!"

You can't keep a cat from grooming. Period. They groom each other. They groom their humans. They're just licking machines. And no matter how clean you keep them, they'll still lick. It's a cat thing. Even the big cats do it.

My advice - DEAL WITH IT! It's part of the deal when you own cats. What's WORSE is when they get to the age where they quit trying. My big boy is 15 and used to keep his substantial acreage of white areas glowing white. Now he just bathes his face and front paws. He's sort of gotten to the "fuck it, I just want to eat, sleep, and poop" stage.

As a kid, I had a white/orange cat with a tabby sister. She always bathed him and he never bothered. After she died (early), he had no clue what grooming meant. You know the character "Pig Pen" from "Peanuts"? I didn't know a cat could GET that filthy. If you petted him, he sent out a cloud of dust a foot in diameter. This was also a cat that would shred you so badly you looked like something out of a Freddie Kruger movie if you tried to bathe him. Consider yourself lucky.