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HopeHoops

(47,675 posts)

74. Yeah, but to be fair (again, language aside), men have to deal with the issue too.

Fri Sep 28, 2012, 10:19 AM

Sep 2012

And yes, as I said I appreciate input, the choice of words was inappropriate. It's still something we all deal with, male or female. My wife's having a really tough time with it and it's everything I can do to avoid making her feel bad about what she's dealing with. Yes, it is a male issue too. So is erectile disfunction (on both sides). I had an anti-seizure medication that completely shrunk up the unit. It wasn't just me dealing with that problem. The neurologist switched my drug to another one and the problem went away. My wife's spent day after day in the hospital watching over me and questioning what medications I was being given (IVs) and why. All you can do is stick together.

Again, sorry for the language (editing period has expired, and deleting it would leave people wondering about the follow-up posts), but that's still relevant to the OP. I'll easily admit I erred in choice of wording (and have a few times now). It's still a serious issue and one everyone will face eventually.

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Ladies of the lounge who have been through or are going through "the change" [View all] GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 OP

I went through it in my early 40's. Arkansas Granny Sep 2012 #1

Thanks! My mom is no longer with me, and I can't remember how long GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #2

Some breeze right through pipi_k Sep 2012 #3

I have the additional confusion of being bipolar, so when I am grouching and yelling, is it GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #4

I had similar issues... pipi_k Sep 2012 #36

Yeah, my anxiety has way been way up there for the last couple of years. I am sure this is a GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #38

It was easy for me Blue_In_AK Sep 2012 #5

Having them more and more often now, I am starting to look forward to them going away . LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #7

Had some really terrible feelings pipi_k Sep 2012 #37

Yeah, the loss of fertility and femininity are hitting me pretty hard. I'm already very GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #41

Good question REP Sep 2012 #6

What I didn't know until I did some research on Google is that perimenopause may be responsible for GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #9

See, I just thought it was responsible for pains in the ASS! REP Sep 2012 #15

Mid 40's. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #8

Sleep has always been hard for me thanks to the bipolar. Not sure I can count on GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #11

MidNite helps me. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #30

I do straight up Melatonin. Is MidNite somehow better? I find I have to be careful of certain GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #32

sleep is all, but, sorry, you're fucked. mopinko Sep 2012 #40

Well, I am still holding out some hope that menopause will actually GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #42

It has a few other things in it, too. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #53

I was going through the change and found a lead penny! Oh! "ladies"! Never mind! ohiosmith Sep 2012 #10

*snarf* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #12

I had an operation that the Dr's said might bring 'the change' early.... HipChick Sep 2012 #13

That's got to be inconvenient, when she sets her own random schedule. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #14

Late 40s. Thought I was pregnant because my period stopped. RebelOne Sep 2012 #16

And how are things now that you've reached the other side of it? GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #22

No problems. Just none of those annoying periods. n/t RebelOne Sep 2012 #90

Sounds like something to look forward to, if it works out the same way for me. :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #106

My wife's 49 - just started this last year. The mood swings are still there, just not the blood. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #17

Yeah, I went running to my husband today because I am struggling with accepting that GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #23

She was a late bloomer. Her sister went through it way earlier. It happens. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #25

Trying not to be a bitch is already hard because of the bipolar, but I will do my best. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #44

I just hold her and tell her everything is okay - or leave her alone if that's what she's yelling. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #59

I was finding this thread informative until I got to your crude and over the top comments HH. auntAgonist Sep 2012 #50

Sorry, but that's what we all call them ("P-pads thin/thick" for short on the grocery list). HopeHoops Sep 2012 #60

I don't care what you call them, that's not what I found offensive. NO she isn't auntAgonist Sep 2012 #62

I've had a few locked and hidden, yes. I've been toning it down and MFM got on my case. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #63

With all due respect GObamaGO Sep 2012 #67

Understood. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #69

That's good that you know you have to tone it down Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #68

Ironically, I consider myself somewhat of a prude. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #71

well it was a post specifically asking for help from other women Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #73

Yeah, but to be fair (again, language aside), men have to deal with the issue too. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #74

well yes Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #78

If you have to keep APOLOGIZING for your language, maybe it's time you stopped using auntAgonist Sep 2012 #79

Just a friendly FYI: if you want to edit the post you can. Gormy Cuss Sep 2012 #81

Really? Weird. I still thought it was 12 hours. Anyway, I won't. The posts that follow... HopeHoops Sep 2012 #82

You can still edit - there's no time limit... cyberswede Sep 2012 #83

I did, but not to alter it, just to encourage that others read the negative comments.J HopeHoops Sep 2012 #85

if you never make mistakes, there's no need to edit CreekDog Sep 2012 #91

I understand your initial decision not to edit HH, but I think it is really important that you do. stevenleser Oct 2012 #153

Trust me, I've had enough new orifices torn out of me. Leaving it and the comments works. HopeHoops Oct 2012 #154

I don't believe there is a time limit on editing posts. I may be wrong. try it. auntAgonist Sep 2012 #84

it's funny that your message started out talking about boundaries CreekDog Sep 2012 #89

Interesting observation, but you're correct. Different TYPES of boundaries, but I agree. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #92

Hope Hoops DebJ Oct 2012 #157

It's not placating by any means. It's sincere. Sometimes putting her to sleep with a backrub... HopeHoops Oct 2012 #162

TMI and a little creepy Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #52

TMI and a LOT creepy. Can no one keep anything to themselves? Uggh. hlthe2b Sep 2012 #76

I think so Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #80

Yes, I was of course sincere, and I did consider the other forums, but the Lounge GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #96

Still, I would encourage you to post in one of the women's groups-- hlthe2b Sep 2012 #104

My mother was on HRT when that study came out, and she was one of those women who GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #105

These topics are welcome hlthe2b Sep 2012 #110

See, I never would have guessed it would be. I assumed they were both more politically-oriented. :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #113

Ugh! MineralMan Sep 2012 #70

Yeah, you weren't the only one. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #72

............. Marrah_G Sep 2012 #88

Is your wife alright with the post? LiberalAndProud Sep 2012 #94

right on Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #120

Aging is a reality and there is not much BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2012 #166

Hit me at 47. I have a neurological disorder linked to hormones pink-o Sep 2012 #18

Oh yes, the baby thing. I do miss having them around, although I think it's as much GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #33

Late 40s. I'm now 57 and some things are still ridiculous. Your mileage may vary. nolabear Sep 2012 #19

"Dress light." Will definitely remember that. LOL I've only had a couple bouts of night sweats but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #35

"That thing"... pipi_k Sep 2012 #39

Trust me. I'm a professional. "That thing" is just fine. "Who's that man in my bed?" nolabear Sep 2012 #47

Yeah. I am having trouble with people's names as well. Awkward in public, but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #54

Hahahaha...was doing that pipi_k Sep 2012 #57

Yep. Has the added bonus of annoying the heck out of them. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #58

My mom would get us three boys' names confused when she was upset (but never with the dog's)... MiddleFingerMom Sep 2012 #125

Thanks for sharing that, MFM. You know, my little bro and I gave GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #127

Similar with my mom and four siblings. Ptah Sep 2012 #132

lol polly7 Sep 2012 #133

I'm sure it's bad of me, but I laughed. The universal truth of siblings, right? GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #135

I started with hot flashes at 40. My idiot HMO doctor did blood work and told me kcass1954 Sep 2012 #20

I am going to have to be reallly careful and guard against a menopausal baby because of the meds I GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #43

Hit it in early 50's. Lucked out annabanana Sep 2012 #21

Jealous! N/t pink-o Sep 2012 #24

Remifemin is great for hot flashes. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #31

In my early 50s and STILL not in menopause!! Not even peri!! riderinthestorm Sep 2012 #101

See, I can't stop thinking, "But I'm only 41!" at least in terms of the things I don't want to lose, GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #121

Well, I'm the poster child that NONE of that is related to menopause! riderinthestorm Sep 2012 #122

Hmmmm Maybe it is just aging, then? :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #128

My mother became kurtzapril4 Sep 2012 #26

I haven't hit anyone so far. I aim to keep it that way! I haven't had flashes during the day, but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #55

I never noticed anything. mia Sep 2012 #27

Yeah, I've always been flaky but this is ridiculous. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #28

I'm a year older than you and I haven't noticed anything. RiffRandell Sep 2012 #29

Yeah, so far the idea of getting older is the hardest part. But I guess all that grey hair should GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #56

Just about through it treestar Sep 2012 #34

Wow. I should be so lucky! :^D (Well, not with that dripping thing. LOL) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #65

I have a great tip for you about maintaining brain function. Marie Marie Sep 2012 #45

Yes, exactly. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #61

You can take flamingdem Sep 2012 #46

Yeah, but some of us are nervous about that. nolabear Sep 2012 #48

It depends on priorities flamingdem Sep 2012 #49

I'm in the 97th percentile for bone density! nolabear Sep 2012 #75

I never had mine checked flamingdem Sep 2012 #77

Started in mid forties for me though I had had problems for a decade or so csziggy Sep 2012 #51

This message was self-deleted by its author MerryBlooms Sep 2012 #64

Early 40's too. You will get your brain back and Raven Sep 2012 #66

I miss my brain so much. *blows to clear the fog away* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #98

As you probably know, it's different for everyone, even women with the same gene pool. Gormy Cuss Sep 2012 #86

Yeah, Google has helped somewhat. :^) With my luck the fog will clear the day before I turn 51 or GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #99

There's a great website: www.power-surge.com for menoapuse support. nolabear Sep 2012 #87

I will be checking that out. And also be looking up "vicissitudes," for even though it seems vaguely GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #107

I started to go strange at 45 silentwarrior Sep 2012 #93

My hair color is already well on its way to grey and silver, but mainly on my hairline. What's on GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #108

I started in my late 30s lunatica Sep 2012 #95

I do so miss my brain. :^( I hope this doesn't take too long. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #109

Go to doctors who specialize in menopause to help you lunatica Sep 2012 #111

I will look into that. I am lucky in that my general physician is a woman about 10 years older than GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #114

And I bet they all still have their brains right? lunatica Sep 2012 #115

They do at that. :^) My mom was definitely the happiest I had seen her in a long time, those last GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #129

My life is complete hell because of it. JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #97

Hang in there, Girl. Try that web site I mentioned upthread for ideas. nolabear Sep 2012 #100

Thanks for your encouragement! JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #102

(((((Julie)))) easttexaslefty Sep 2012 #103

I am so, so sorry. *hugs* I have only had two real nightsweats so far, but they GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #112

I like to keep pipi_k Sep 2012 #118

I have been considering the sleepmask option. Definitely want the best of both worlds! GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #134

You remind me of what I went through lunatica Sep 2012 #116

The sympathy and encouragement from DUers JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #119

Let us know when you do finally get to see a doc, and how things go? *hugs* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #130

I'm so sorry FloridaJudy Sep 2012 #124

My wife... progressoid Sep 2012 #117

Thanks! :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #123

Wow. I started having periods at age 10 at a Girl Scout Camp. kaiden Sep 2012 #126

Oh my! You sure are lucky having a husband who would do that for ya. :^D GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #131

Men go through "the change" too. I started having hot flashes at 55. TrogL Sep 2012 #136

I was just wondering last night if men had a comparable change of life they go through. :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #138

It's called andropause. Testosterone levels drop TrogL Oct 2012 #142

Are there other symptoms as well? Do your brains go fuzzy too? GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #145

Your hair falls out, your skin gets messed up, you can't think straight, fall sleep standing up TrogL Oct 2012 #146

A lot of similarities there. GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #147

Reading this thread is scaring the crap out of me nadine_mn Oct 2012 #137

Turns out there is even more than that, and I never knew it. Why don't we women GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #139

The memory loss pipi_k Oct 2012 #141

So far it's no worse than when I was pregnant and accidentally GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #144

I find Seduko and chess helps TrogL Oct 2012 #148

I'm not sure when it started; LWolf Oct 2012 #140

Weirdly, they say being heavier helps out your bones, so in that case I am GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #143

My bones are in GREAT shape going in; LWolf Oct 2012 #150

Yeah, knees, hips, and ankles are a bit grumpy here too. :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #151

are you strength training? Skittles Oct 2012 #156

Not formally; LWolf Oct 2012 #161

YES THEY WOULD! Skittles Oct 2012 #167

I think I even have some dumbbells LWolf Oct 2012 #170

55, never had a single symptom Skittles Oct 2012 #149

Lucky! :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #152

mmmmm Skittles Oct 2012 #155

It definitely could be the case. Eating well may also help, from what I hear. GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #159

here's the kicker Skittles Oct 2012 #168

And Your "Secret" is the Holy Grail IMHO Redlo Nosrep Oct 2012 #174

howdy there Redlo Skittles Oct 2012 #175

Late 30's hot flashes started, would come and go for DebJ Oct 2012 #158

The migraines have me a bit worried as I got them in my pre-and early teen years. Makes me wonder if GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #160

I did have one similar symptom in pre-teen years and in the very end of menopause: DebJ Oct 2012 #169

I was very lucky LibertyLover Oct 2012 #163

I think I would be too exhausted to raise another little one. Just adopting kittens this summer GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #164

Well, she is my first and only child LibertyLover Oct 2012 #165

I get my kid time in with other people's kids now. WHen I get tired, I give them back. :^D GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #173

It started for me in my 40's... zanana1 Oct 2012 #171

True. I may not experience it the same as my Mom did anyway. (Although I am GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #172