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LibertyLover

(4,788 posts)

163. I was very lucky

Reply to GreenPartyVoter (Original post)

Wed Oct 3, 2012, 10:23 AM

Oct 2012

and had minimal problems. I think I had 3 hot flashes. I started noticing changes when I was about 42 and finished when I was about 50. One of the things that helped with the depression about no longer being fertile was that my husband and I were working on adopting a little girl from China, so that just as my natural fertility ended and I should have moved into the Crone stage of life, I became a mother. That sent Cronehood right out of the picture, at least for a few more years.

The one thing that I do have a problem with is my lack of interest in sex. I guess I should say that I don't have a problem with it, but my husband does. I try to make an effort to be, um, shall we say, available, but it really is an effort. He still hasn't grasped the concept after 9 years that I do not lubricate like I once did and he gets annoyed when I tell him to wait a minute so I can remedy that situation. I would be totally happy to never have to have sex again, but that's not an option at the moment. It's difficult being a follower of a nature religion that teaches all acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals and not really wanting to participate in those activities any more. I console myself with the fact that I do like sex in the abstract, it's just in my personal life that it isn't of much interest any more.

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Ladies of the lounge who have been through or are going through "the change" [View all] GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 OP

I went through it in my early 40's. Arkansas Granny Sep 2012 #1

Thanks! My mom is no longer with me, and I can't remember how long GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #2

Some breeze right through pipi_k Sep 2012 #3

I have the additional confusion of being bipolar, so when I am grouching and yelling, is it GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #4

I had similar issues... pipi_k Sep 2012 #36

Yeah, my anxiety has way been way up there for the last couple of years. I am sure this is a GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #38

It was easy for me Blue_In_AK Sep 2012 #5

Having them more and more often now, I am starting to look forward to them going away . LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #7

Had some really terrible feelings pipi_k Sep 2012 #37

Yeah, the loss of fertility and femininity are hitting me pretty hard. I'm already very GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #41

Good question REP Sep 2012 #6

What I didn't know until I did some research on Google is that perimenopause may be responsible for GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #9

See, I just thought it was responsible for pains in the ASS! REP Sep 2012 #15

Mid 40's. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #8

Sleep has always been hard for me thanks to the bipolar. Not sure I can count on GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #11

MidNite helps me. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #30

I do straight up Melatonin. Is MidNite somehow better? I find I have to be careful of certain GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #32

sleep is all, but, sorry, you're fucked. mopinko Sep 2012 #40

Well, I am still holding out some hope that menopause will actually GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #42

It has a few other things in it, too. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #53

I was going through the change and found a lead penny! Oh! "ladies"! Never mind! ohiosmith Sep 2012 #10

*snarf* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #12

I had an operation that the Dr's said might bring 'the change' early.... HipChick Sep 2012 #13

That's got to be inconvenient, when she sets her own random schedule. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #14

Late 40s. Thought I was pregnant because my period stopped. RebelOne Sep 2012 #16

And how are things now that you've reached the other side of it? GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #22

No problems. Just none of those annoying periods. n/t RebelOne Sep 2012 #90

Sounds like something to look forward to, if it works out the same way for me. :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #106

My wife's 49 - just started this last year. The mood swings are still there, just not the blood. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #17

Yeah, I went running to my husband today because I am struggling with accepting that GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #23

She was a late bloomer. Her sister went through it way earlier. It happens. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #25

Trying not to be a bitch is already hard because of the bipolar, but I will do my best. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #44

I just hold her and tell her everything is okay - or leave her alone if that's what she's yelling. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #59

I was finding this thread informative until I got to your crude and over the top comments HH. auntAgonist Sep 2012 #50

Sorry, but that's what we all call them ("P-pads thin/thick" for short on the grocery list). HopeHoops Sep 2012 #60

I don't care what you call them, that's not what I found offensive. NO she isn't auntAgonist Sep 2012 #62

I've had a few locked and hidden, yes. I've been toning it down and MFM got on my case. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #63

With all due respect GObamaGO Sep 2012 #67

Understood. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #69

That's good that you know you have to tone it down Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #68

Ironically, I consider myself somewhat of a prude. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #71

well it was a post specifically asking for help from other women Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #73

Yeah, but to be fair (again, language aside), men have to deal with the issue too. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #74

well yes Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #78

If you have to keep APOLOGIZING for your language, maybe it's time you stopped using auntAgonist Sep 2012 #79

Just a friendly FYI: if you want to edit the post you can. Gormy Cuss Sep 2012 #81

Really? Weird. I still thought it was 12 hours. Anyway, I won't. The posts that follow... HopeHoops Sep 2012 #82

You can still edit - there's no time limit... cyberswede Sep 2012 #83

I did, but not to alter it, just to encourage that others read the negative comments.J HopeHoops Sep 2012 #85

if you never make mistakes, there's no need to edit CreekDog Sep 2012 #91

I understand your initial decision not to edit HH, but I think it is really important that you do. stevenleser Oct 2012 #153

Trust me, I've had enough new orifices torn out of me. Leaving it and the comments works. HopeHoops Oct 2012 #154

I don't believe there is a time limit on editing posts. I may be wrong. try it. auntAgonist Sep 2012 #84

it's funny that your message started out talking about boundaries CreekDog Sep 2012 #89

Interesting observation, but you're correct. Different TYPES of boundaries, but I agree. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #92

Hope Hoops DebJ Oct 2012 #157

It's not placating by any means. It's sincere. Sometimes putting her to sleep with a backrub... HopeHoops Oct 2012 #162

TMI and a little creepy Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #52

TMI and a LOT creepy. Can no one keep anything to themselves? Uggh. hlthe2b Sep 2012 #76

I think so Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #80

Yes, I was of course sincere, and I did consider the other forums, but the Lounge GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #96

Still, I would encourage you to post in one of the women's groups-- hlthe2b Sep 2012 #104

My mother was on HRT when that study came out, and she was one of those women who GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #105

These topics are welcome hlthe2b Sep 2012 #110

See, I never would have guessed it would be. I assumed they were both more politically-oriented. :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #113

Ugh! MineralMan Sep 2012 #70

Yeah, you weren't the only one. HopeHoops Sep 2012 #72

............. Marrah_G Sep 2012 #88

Is your wife alright with the post? LiberalAndProud Sep 2012 #94

right on Wetzelbill Sep 2012 #120

Aging is a reality and there is not much BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2012 #166

Hit me at 47. I have a neurological disorder linked to hormones pink-o Sep 2012 #18

Oh yes, the baby thing. I do miss having them around, although I think it's as much GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #33

Late 40s. I'm now 57 and some things are still ridiculous. Your mileage may vary. nolabear Sep 2012 #19

"Dress light." Will definitely remember that. LOL I've only had a couple bouts of night sweats but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #35

"That thing"... pipi_k Sep 2012 #39

Trust me. I'm a professional. "That thing" is just fine. "Who's that man in my bed?" nolabear Sep 2012 #47

Yeah. I am having trouble with people's names as well. Awkward in public, but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #54

Hahahaha...was doing that pipi_k Sep 2012 #57

Yep. Has the added bonus of annoying the heck out of them. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #58

My mom would get us three boys' names confused when she was upset (but never with the dog's)... MiddleFingerMom Sep 2012 #125

Thanks for sharing that, MFM. You know, my little bro and I gave GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #127

Similar with my mom and four siblings. Ptah Sep 2012 #132

lol polly7 Sep 2012 #133

I'm sure it's bad of me, but I laughed. The universal truth of siblings, right? GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #135

I started with hot flashes at 40. My idiot HMO doctor did blood work and told me kcass1954 Sep 2012 #20

I am going to have to be reallly careful and guard against a menopausal baby because of the meds I GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #43

Hit it in early 50's. Lucked out annabanana Sep 2012 #21

Jealous! N/t pink-o Sep 2012 #24

Remifemin is great for hot flashes. GoCubsGo Sep 2012 #31

In my early 50s and STILL not in menopause!! Not even peri!! riderinthestorm Sep 2012 #101

See, I can't stop thinking, "But I'm only 41!" at least in terms of the things I don't want to lose, GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #121

Well, I'm the poster child that NONE of that is related to menopause! riderinthestorm Sep 2012 #122

Hmmmm Maybe it is just aging, then? :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #128

My mother became kurtzapril4 Sep 2012 #26

I haven't hit anyone so far. I aim to keep it that way! I haven't had flashes during the day, but GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #55

I never noticed anything. mia Sep 2012 #27

Yeah, I've always been flaky but this is ridiculous. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #28

I'm a year older than you and I haven't noticed anything. RiffRandell Sep 2012 #29

Yeah, so far the idea of getting older is the hardest part. But I guess all that grey hair should GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #56

Just about through it treestar Sep 2012 #34

Wow. I should be so lucky! :^D (Well, not with that dripping thing. LOL) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #65

I have a great tip for you about maintaining brain function. Marie Marie Sep 2012 #45

Yes, exactly. LOL GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #61

You can take flamingdem Sep 2012 #46

Yeah, but some of us are nervous about that. nolabear Sep 2012 #48

It depends on priorities flamingdem Sep 2012 #49

I'm in the 97th percentile for bone density! nolabear Sep 2012 #75

I never had mine checked flamingdem Sep 2012 #77

Started in mid forties for me though I had had problems for a decade or so csziggy Sep 2012 #51

This message was self-deleted by its author MerryBlooms Sep 2012 #64

Early 40's too. You will get your brain back and Raven Sep 2012 #66

I miss my brain so much. *blows to clear the fog away* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #98

As you probably know, it's different for everyone, even women with the same gene pool. Gormy Cuss Sep 2012 #86

Yeah, Google has helped somewhat. :^) With my luck the fog will clear the day before I turn 51 or GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #99

There's a great website: www.power-surge.com for menoapuse support. nolabear Sep 2012 #87

I will be checking that out. And also be looking up "vicissitudes," for even though it seems vaguely GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #107

I started to go strange at 45 silentwarrior Sep 2012 #93

My hair color is already well on its way to grey and silver, but mainly on my hairline. What's on GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #108

I started in my late 30s lunatica Sep 2012 #95

I do so miss my brain. :^( I hope this doesn't take too long. GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #109

Go to doctors who specialize in menopause to help you lunatica Sep 2012 #111

I will look into that. I am lucky in that my general physician is a woman about 10 years older than GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #114

And I bet they all still have their brains right? lunatica Sep 2012 #115

They do at that. :^) My mom was definitely the happiest I had seen her in a long time, those last GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #129

My life is complete hell because of it. JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #97

Hang in there, Girl. Try that web site I mentioned upthread for ideas. nolabear Sep 2012 #100

Thanks for your encouragement! JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #102

(((((Julie)))) easttexaslefty Sep 2012 #103

I am so, so sorry. *hugs* I have only had two real nightsweats so far, but they GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #112

I like to keep pipi_k Sep 2012 #118

I have been considering the sleepmask option. Definitely want the best of both worlds! GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #134

You remind me of what I went through lunatica Sep 2012 #116

The sympathy and encouragement from DUers JNelson6563 Sep 2012 #119

Let us know when you do finally get to see a doc, and how things go? *hugs* GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #130

I'm so sorry FloridaJudy Sep 2012 #124

My wife... progressoid Sep 2012 #117

Thanks! :^) GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #123

Wow. I started having periods at age 10 at a Girl Scout Camp. kaiden Sep 2012 #126

Oh my! You sure are lucky having a husband who would do that for ya. :^D GreenPartyVoter Sep 2012 #131

Men go through "the change" too. I started having hot flashes at 55. TrogL Sep 2012 #136

I was just wondering last night if men had a comparable change of life they go through. :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #138

It's called andropause. Testosterone levels drop TrogL Oct 2012 #142

Are there other symptoms as well? Do your brains go fuzzy too? GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #145

Your hair falls out, your skin gets messed up, you can't think straight, fall sleep standing up TrogL Oct 2012 #146

A lot of similarities there. GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #147

Reading this thread is scaring the crap out of me nadine_mn Oct 2012 #137

Turns out there is even more than that, and I never knew it. Why don't we women GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #139

The memory loss pipi_k Oct 2012 #141

So far it's no worse than when I was pregnant and accidentally GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #144

I find Seduko and chess helps TrogL Oct 2012 #148

I'm not sure when it started; LWolf Oct 2012 #140

Weirdly, they say being heavier helps out your bones, so in that case I am GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #143

My bones are in GREAT shape going in; LWolf Oct 2012 #150

Yeah, knees, hips, and ankles are a bit grumpy here too. :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #151

are you strength training? Skittles Oct 2012 #156

Not formally; LWolf Oct 2012 #161

YES THEY WOULD! Skittles Oct 2012 #167

I think I even have some dumbbells LWolf Oct 2012 #170

55, never had a single symptom Skittles Oct 2012 #149

Lucky! :^) GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #152

mmmmm Skittles Oct 2012 #155

It definitely could be the case. Eating well may also help, from what I hear. GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #159

here's the kicker Skittles Oct 2012 #168

And Your "Secret" is the Holy Grail IMHO Redlo Nosrep Oct 2012 #174

howdy there Redlo Skittles Oct 2012 #175

Late 30's hot flashes started, would come and go for DebJ Oct 2012 #158

The migraines have me a bit worried as I got them in my pre-and early teen years. Makes me wonder if GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #160

I did have one similar symptom in pre-teen years and in the very end of menopause: DebJ Oct 2012 #169

I was very lucky LibertyLover Oct 2012 #163

I think I would be too exhausted to raise another little one. Just adopting kittens this summer GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #164

Well, she is my first and only child LibertyLover Oct 2012 #165

I get my kid time in with other people's kids now. WHen I get tired, I give them back. :^D GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #173

It started for me in my 40's... zanana1 Oct 2012 #171

True. I may not experience it the same as my Mom did anyway. (Although I am GreenPartyVoter Oct 2012 #172