Am I a shit? Or what would you do? In the summer of 2023, my sister told us she had uterine cancer. We drove up to

[TommyT139]

6. Be who you are

It seems to me that you did all those wonderully supportive things because of who you are. She refrained from helping your family or wishing your husband well because of who and how she is.

If you would normally send a card for a family birthday, perhaps do that -- not because she has been an examplary family member, but rather because you might choose not to be lessened by her attitudes and choices.

That simple act may also have the side effects of leaving the door open for those family members who want to not take sides, and not giving her an excuse or "talking point."

Whatever your choice, be kind to yourself, as it sounds like you've had a very rough year.