The DU Lounge

madaboutharry

(42,025 posts)

32. You are not a shit.

Tue Oct 22, 2024, 07:52 AM

Oct 2024

Your mom and sister sound like two very narcissistic people. These kinds of people don't love anyone. It has nothing to do with you.
The truth is that no matter what you decide to do, whether you send the card or not, it will not make any difference. It won't change anything. Maybe sending the card will only further their believe that they have some kind of power over you and your feelings.
I don't know what is the best thing to do. When dealing with unloving and selfish people whatever you do is never the right thing anyway.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

MaryMagdaline

44 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Am I a shit? Or what would you do? In the summer of 2023, my sister told us she had uterine cancer. We drove up to [View all] debm55 Oct 2024 OP

No birthday card DUgosh Oct 2024 #1

Do exactly what you need to do. Your only consideration is your husband and yourself ... marble falls Oct 2024 #2

My 2 cents is no card no call. It's feels like at this point after all they've done it's your decision if you want MLAA Oct 2024 #3

Your family is abusive. If you expect them ever to change Ocelot II Oct 2024 #4

I agree with you 100%! Upthevibe Oct 2024 #39

If I were you, I would not send it. onecaliberal Oct 2024 #5

Be who you are TommyT139 Oct 2024 #6

Your family is extremely toxic and exhaustingly abusive Niagara Oct 2024 #7

First, you are very kind... Joinfortmill Oct 2024 #8

You are NTA!! Lunabell Oct 2024 #9

People can be quite shocking. Joinfortmill Oct 2024 #20

Sounds like my family XanaDUer2 Oct 2024 #25

Questions for you: Do you want to cancel your sister? Do you want to let your sister know how you feel? Does your Doodley Oct 2024 #10

Yes and my mother is worse, my dad died last September. I was made fun of by my mother and sister in front of relatives debm55 Oct 2024 #13

You are NOT nasty and you are not a shit. After a lifetime of this abuse.... CousinIT Oct 2024 #16

You are not a nasty person BigMin28 Oct 2024 #29

My dear debm55 radical noodle Oct 2024 #33

Then, it's time to cut the cord. sarge43 Oct 2024 #38

Girlfriend, you and i need to talk gay texan Oct 2024 #11

I think you KNOW you're not a sh*t, Deb. stopdiggin Oct 2024 #12

Sounds like the card is bothering you. Dear_Prudence Oct 2024 #14

Good thought. The card is nothing in the scheme of things - but dealt with in a quickly easy way - ... marble falls Oct 2024 #27

I would not send a card. They are toxic and selfish. Take care of you and hubby. CousinIT Oct 2024 #15

I would probably send the card MyMission Oct 2024 #17

This message was self-deleted by its author MyMission Oct 2024 #18

I wouldn't send anything. Phoenix61 Oct 2024 #19

why did you get a card for her? Kali Oct 2024 #21

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I hope you and your husband can both have some LauraInLA Oct 2024 #22

Ditto everything here! Phentex Oct 2024 #23

IGNORE XanaDUer2 Oct 2024 #24

Just sign the card and send it. Do not write anything in it and do not call. sinkingfeeling Oct 2024 #26

One of the only two good resolutions. It's a distraction. marble falls Oct 2024 #28

Make a SMALL effort AltairIV Oct 2024 #31

Your generosity is remarkable PJMcK Oct 2024 #30

You are not a shit. madaboutharry Oct 2024 #32

I would send the card. Your heart is too kind and it would be a burden if you did not send it. MaryMagdaline Oct 2024 #34

Do whatever satisfies your need for contentment Raven123 Oct 2024 #35

So sorry you're dealing with this crap. WestMichRad Oct 2024 #36

No card, no phone call Wicked Blue Oct 2024 #37

One's conduct is always, repeat always, contingent upon one's own morality... malthaussen Oct 2024 #40

Question ProfessorGAC Oct 2024 #41

I'm so glad you got tons of good advice FullySupportDems Oct 2024 #42

I am evil mercuryblues Oct 2024 #43

Forget the card; instead, snot Oct 2024 #44