My beautiful mother passed 13 years ago this week.

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17. I am glad that you have loving memories of her.

Those can be a double-edged sword when dealing with loss, but the love is worth it.

My own mother was a complicated person who lashed out when she was in pain, but I still admire her for her strength and grieve for the childhood that she didn't have which impacted her children in turn. She has been gone for 16 years, and despite my conflicted feelings, her death pulled the rug right out from under me.

I can only image the scope of your grief. Forgive me, please, for quoting a superhero movie, but,

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"

Cherish the grief; it has value and will someday fit the pieces of your memory together more beautifully than you could have imagined.