Well, I survived the Mental Health interview with a Social Security Psychologist [View all]
After almost an hour, she stated she would send a diagnosis of PTSD and Chronic Major Depressive Disorder.
I knew the first one, as I've been dealing with triggers all my life. The second makes sense if you lump my anxiety, my daily sense of impending doom, my fear of physical intimacy and of course my expectations of failure.
I am really trying to be positive about how this went, and I pray that this more or less clinches my case as these issues burden me above and beyond the physical issues with my back etc...
I write this to let you know that I really really appreciate your support and friendships, as my Good morning messages, even if on some days they may lack in poetic magic lol, is very therapeutic and almost necessary for me as every day as some of you surely know, is a struggle when trying to stay afloat, much less live with some joy.
Thank you for your responses every morning, as again, you keep me from isolating further and deeper. To thank you even more, living in fundamental isolation makes each of you an integral part of alot of people's support systems, not just mine. Please know that extra kind word, that encouraging emoji, that hug that seems so trite, is real to many of us.
There are many times when I won't answer a post because someone has already expressed my thoughts, I will try harder as someone elses words can't necessarily carry my voice or vice versa.
Finding ways to practice love is probably the single most important step I can take on any given day for my mental health, and, to support those that I hear and understand.
Please forgive my rambling but know my heart is filled with gratitude for the daily affirmations that people like Emile, DebM55, Wordstroken, OmahaSteve, Scrivener7, Nanuke, Niagara, CloudsPassing, LoisB, and countless others offer through their own posts as well as the love that flows from your responses to others.
SampleGirl with your beautiful water colors, CaliforniaPeggy with all the torturous images of food from farmers markets, BoZarts with their amazing nature photos and on and on. Please know I've named but a few of you that help form the fabric of our DU family. I read :The Greatest Salesman in the world by Og Mandino as a teenager and it was so powerful then that the lessons enclosed have only been reinforced over and over again since.
Please know that you all are a treasure that I hold dear and cherish as you have offered family style support in ways my family never has.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank your for all you do, silently, freely, and so generously that there can be no other expression than " You've Loved Me, and So Many Others" in your words and deeds.
Love, John
= new reply since forum marked as read