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Basso8vb

(1,230 posts)

163. You are loved immensely here.

Reply to debm55 (Original post)

Mon Dec 1, 2025, 10:45 PM

Dec 1

Thank you for sharing that as painful as it must have been for you.

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debm55

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I need some help with a problem. As some of you know, my family was/is terrible abusive to me. Physical, emotional, and [View all] debm55 Nov 30 OP

;-( elleng Nov 30 #1

Thank you , elleng. debm55 Nov 30 #11

Stop punishing yourself Figarosmom Nov 30 #2

After what happened with my husband with his cancer. I have cut of all ties. However, Friday was his birthday and she debm55 Nov 30 #12

Figarosmom is right. Take care of yourself and your husband. Polly Hennessey Nov 30 #23

---------- debm55 Dec 1 #80

Yeah, you shouldn't have answered. Figarosmom Nov 30 #24

Good idea. Ty debm55 Dec 1 #82

Change your phone number, Deb. SheltieLover Dec 1 #44

-------- debm55 Dec 1 #81

You can block specific phone numbers. Do it fargone Dec 1 #161

Thank you for your help and kindness, fargone. debm55 Dec 1 #162

What you said MustLoveBeagles Dec 1 #74

You are a sweetheart of a human being deb FullySupportDems Nov 30 #3

Thank you FullySupportDems. debm55 Nov 30 #13

Ty your very much for your advice. debm55 Dec 1 #83

Ty ------ debm55 Dec 1 #84

deb, you have endured far more abuse than any human being ever should! True Dough Nov 30 #4

I am going to call my therapist tomorrow. debm55 Nov 30 #16

Ty my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #85

Your story is not too long, Deb. Permanut Nov 30 #5

Thank you my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #86

THIS! electric_blue68 Dec 1 #125

Blood is not thicker than water. You are under no obligation to do a damn thing for those toxic people Ocelot II Nov 30 #6

I want to second that FullySupportDems Nov 30 #7

I wish I could rec this a couple of thousand times. fierywoman Dec 1 #46

I third this! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Dec 1 #75

Agreed! Excise the malignant ones from your life, Deb SheltieLover Dec 1 #47

Ty SheltieLover. debm55 Dec 1 #106

Yeah, but it comes in handy if you're desperate for a transfusion Warpy Dec 1 #60

Thank you so much Ocelot II debm55 Dec 1 #88

Thank you very much Ocelot II debm55 Dec 1 #117

I agree with Ocelot... sheshe2 Nov 30 #8

Ty so much sheshe2. debm55 Dec 1 #118

Dear Deb - You are loved. I love you. Your DU family loves you. You are not alone. Grim Chieftain Nov 30 #9

Absolutely beautifully put. fierywoman Dec 1 #49

Thank you Grim Chieftain Dec 1 #70

Thank you very much my friend.. debm55 Dec 1 #95

Always here for you, dear Deb Grim Chieftain Dec 1 #97

You put in words what we are all feeling Bluestocking Dec 1 #104

OMG HoosierDebbie Nov 30 #10

Thank you HoosierDebbie. I have just taken my meds. debm55 Nov 30 #14

Dearest Debbie, I've suggested to you several times Niagara Nov 30 #15

But Niagara, I want them to say they are sorry. I want my mother to say she loves me. JC I am70 years old and married debm55 Nov 30 #22

I can understand that you want that BlueSpot Nov 30 #28

TY BlueSpot. debm55 Dec 1 #109

Sadly, you just have to accept the fact that that will never happen. Ocelot II Nov 30 #29

Agree, I talked to my therapist today. Thank you, Ocelot II debm55 Dec 1 #121

They're abusers. If you're 70 now, you're never going to get an apology Niagara Nov 30 #30

I don't know you but people here know you as a good person annielion Nov 30 #36

TY annielion. for your sweet words and welcome to DU debm55 Dec 1 #119

It isn't going to happen. They don't love you, they never will be sorry. niyad Dec 1 #56

TY niyad. I feel better today. I found some nuts , branches and leaves to make a spirit doll for myself. debm55 Dec 1 #120

hugggggs. Excellent!!! niyad Dec 1 #142

Dearest Deb, I viscerally feel your longing for your mother to say she loves you and how sorry they are. summer_in_TX Dec 1 #61

That is beautiful, summer_in_TX, Bless you, deb. debm55 Dec 1 #124

I have a young friend who suffered much abuse as a child and young woman. summer_in_TX Tuesday #168

Oh, ty, summer_in_TX debm55 Tuesday #172

You're welcome, Deb. summer_in_TX Tuesday #192

I think you know that is never going to happen. GET AWAY FROM THEM NOW. FOREVER. COMPLETELY. SaydiTom Dec 1 #62

Thank you SaydiTom debm55 Dec 1 #126

TY Niagara. debm55 Dec 1 #108

Yw Debbie Niagara Tuesday #169

I am sorry... hlthe2b Nov 30 #17

TY very much hlthe2b. debm55 Dec 1 #123

END ALL CONTACT WITH AND SUPPORT OF THEM IMMEDIATELY SaydiTom Nov 30 #18

Thank you SaydiTom. debm55 Dec 1 #127

I'm so sorry cate94 Nov 30 #19

Thank you very much , cate94 debm55 Dec 1 #128

I'm so sorry, Deb. arkielib Nov 30 #20

Thank you my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #129

I am so sorry, Deb. . . Stargleamer Nov 30 #21

Thank you. Stargleamer. debm55 Dec 1 #130

Deb, cut ALL TIES WITH THEM some_of_us_are_sane Nov 30 #25

Thank you so muchm my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #131

My God I am so sorry Diamond_Dog Nov 30 #26

Thank you very much, Diamond_Dog debm55 Dec 1 #133

Stop punishing yourself, Deb Jilly_in_VA Nov 30 #27

Thank you very much Jilly_in_VA Love you friend. debm55 Dec 1 #135

I'm so sorry. markodochartaigh Nov 30 #31

I do and I am glad you all are my friends. debm55 Dec 1 #136

The Bible does NOT say your family has to ignore government funds available to them. pnwmom Nov 30 #32

Thank you very much, pnwmom. debm55 Dec 1 #137

Everyone here is wishing you all the best! pnwmom Dec 1 #165

We all want and need to be loved and you have that with your husband and son..give them all you've got Deuxcents Nov 30 #33

Thank you my friend.Deuxcents. debm55 Dec 1 #138

They made their choices KT2000 Nov 30 #34

Thank you, my friend KT2000 debm55 Dec 1 #140

Their expectations Mz Pip Nov 30 #35

Thank you very much, Mz Pip debm55 Dec 1 #145

Not too long. Dear_Prudence Nov 30 #37

Thank you very much, Dear_Prudence. debm55 Dec 1 #148

You are strong, i have terrible advice Shellback Squid Nov 30 #38

What is your advice? Shellback Squid? debm55 Dec 1 #150

toxic relationships are to be avoided, friends and even family Shellback Squid Dec 1 #155

Thank you my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #158

Please stage left Nov 30 #39

Thank you very much stage left. I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on that. debm55 Dec 1 #151

... progressoid Nov 30 #40

You said it best too, my friend progressoid. Love, deb. debm55 Dec 1 #159

So sorry, Deb. You bring a lot of caring and light to everyone here. Knowing this makes it even more Gaugamela Nov 30 #41

Thank you, Gaugamela. debm55 Tuesday #171

I am so sorry deb. You always present a sunny image on these pages, showing so much courage question everything Dec 1 #42

Ty for your loving words. questioneverthing debm55 Tuesday #173

The Bible Does NOT say to put up with Abuse and Cruelty. Radical Lutheran Dec 1 #43

Thank you very much for your post. Bless you, Radical Lutheran. Love .deb debm55 Tuesday #174

Deb, with all my heart I wish I could give you a warm motherly hug. And while giving you Joinfortmill Dec 1 #45

TY Joinfortmill. I wish you were too. debm55 Tuesday #175

I wish I could crawl into the computer wires, go to you and give you a hug. 3Hotdogs Dec 1 #48

Oh! This times 10,000 times! fierywoman Dec 1 #51

Thank you my friend.3Hotdogs. debm55 Tuesday #176

You don't owe your family anything iemanja Dec 1 #50

Thank you for your words of wisdom. lemanja debm55 Tuesday #177

I also suffered abuse from family, though nothing as severe as you did. Trueblue Texan Dec 1 #52

Oh Trueblue Texan. You have been there. Your words lift me up. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. Love, debbie debm55 Tuesday #178

And we love you. Tell those fucking, monstrous parasites to go to hell. niyad Dec 1 #53

Thank you , my friend. Niyad. debm55 Tuesday #183

I Am So Sorry You Had to Go Through All of This The Roux Comes First Dec 1 #54

Thank you very much, The Roux Comes First. debm55 Tuesday #184

They will never change. Cut off all contact and take of yourself. You owe them nothing. camartinwv Dec 1 #55

Thank you, camartinwv. debm55 Tuesday #185

Walked in your shoes. MetaphysicalMama Dec 1 #57

Thank you, MetaphsicalMama.Love you, Debbie. debm55 Dec 1 #115

Step away from the abuse, and start one step at a time. Remember you must take care of yourself, before you can care SWBTATTReg Dec 1 #58

Thank you very much , my friend for your kind words debm55 Tuesday #186

So they won't take money from the government soldierant Dec 1 #59

They don't want to be seen as "poor" I have told them many years ago about Access(the van) Snap, and other government debm55 Tuesday #188

Everyone here loves you, Deb, and this is a tough room JoseBalow Dec 1 #63

Thank you very much , JoseBalow. Bless you my friend. debm55 Tuesday #187

Oh dearest Deb, I had no idea of the horrors you have endured. My heart is aching for you. You are the sweetest heart KitFox Dec 1 #64

Thank you for your sweet post, My friend, KitFox, debm55 Dec 1 #134

Hugs Deb. Duncanpup Dec 1 #65

Thank you Duncanpup, debm55 Dec 1 #122

Sounds like PTSD. Hope you look at DU as multigraincracker Dec 1 #66

TY very much , multigraincracker debm55 Dec 1 #116

You're not alone. Mike Nelson Dec 1 #67

TY Mike Nelson debm55 Dec 1 #101

Break free from your birth family. Sanity Claws Dec 1 #68

TY very much, Sanity Claws. debm55 Dec 1 #99

These people SHOULD BE IN JAIL! justaprogressive Dec 1 #69

My husband called earlier and told my sister he would take her to the Senior Center. If you she does't go, she is on her debm55 Dec 1 #98

Well done. justaprogressive Dec 1 #100

TY debm55 Dec 1 #102

Thank you justaprogressive. My friend. debm55 Dec 1 #132

Thinking of you this morning, Deb and hoping you could get some sleep last night. Always remember you have a load of KitFox Dec 1 #71

I didn't get any sleep, but I feel better now. TY KitFox. debm55 Dec 1 #96

Deb, you are so loved here, at the DU. lucca18 Dec 1 #72

Thank you , lucca18 debm55 Dec 1 #93

OMG 😮 MustLoveBeagles Dec 1 #73

TY very much, debm55 Dec 1 #92

Back at ya MustLoveBeagles Dec 1 #94

HUGS to you, wonderful Deb! OldBaldy1701E Dec 1 #76

Thank you very much. debm55 Dec 1 #91

The Heck With Them ProfessorGAC Dec 1 #77

Thank you my friend. debm55 Dec 1 #90

Please take care of yourself Sea A Chell Dec 1 #78

Thank you , Sea A Chell. debm55 Dec 1 #89

Good lord - cut all ties with these people immediately! Life isn't supposed to be torture and that's what they've made Vinca Dec 1 #79

Thank you my friend, debm55 Dec 1 #87

Every word of this hurts my heart. pandr32 Dec 1 #103

Thank you pandr32 debm55 Dec 1 #114

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs and many more Hugs, Deb Clouds Passing Dec 1 #105

Thank you very much, Clouds Passing. debm55 Dec 1 #107

Take care of yourself, your husband and son. PittBlue Dec 1 #110

Thank you very much PittBlue. Oh, my father worked roe Carrier in Jeannette. He made good money, nice house. But what debm55 Dec 1 #112

Just say 'No'. Stop allowing them to destroy your life. You are under no obligation to pay for or nurse any of them. And sinkingfeeling Dec 1 #111

Thank you sinkingfeeling. debm55 Dec 1 #113

You have lots on your plate of life. Botany Dec 1 #139

Thank you my friend Botany, George was my favorite. I also liked the song, "All Things Must Pass" debm55 Dec 1 #154

How the hell did you turn out like this with that background?! buzzycrumbhunger Dec 1 #141

Thank you very much, buzzycrumbhunger. It is odd that you say that. I have a BS in ART, 2 Masters of ED in Special Ed debm55 Dec 1 #157

Deb, you will never get what you seek from them - TBF Dec 1 #143

Thank you very much for your post, TBF. You are a very kind person. debm55 Dec 1 #149

Walk Away for Good (your own!) from these Abusers! I remember some of what you said previously about this.... electric_blue68 Dec 1 #144

Thank you, very much my friend, electric_blue68. Yes, my BS was in Art Ed. The art projects that meant most to me and debm55 Dec 1 #146

YW, deb! electric_blue68 Dec 1 #147

You are strong. underpants Dec 1 #152

Thank you my dear friend, underpants. debm55 Dec 1 #153

Sever ties donkeyoaty Dec 1 #156

Thank you my dear donkeyoaty.I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on it. debm55 Dec 1 #160

You are loved immensely here. Basso8vb Dec 1 #163

Thank you very much, Basso8vb. love, deb. debm55 Dec 1 #164

Many people in similar situations, DaBronx Dec 1 #166

Thank you DaBronx for your kind words of wisdom.. I can not redo the past. But I don;t want to be totally responsible debm55 Tuesday #190

I just read your horrific post, and I feel so sorry for you. SWinter Tuesday #167

Thank you, SWinter that was my roll too. I also left at 18. I am now more concerned that i will be in a hell hole with debm55 Tuesday #191

Wow deb, I never dreamed you have been through so much. Emile Tuesday #170

Thank you Emile. I wish very much it wasn't so. But it was and is. debm55 Tuesday #189

Cut them off. They are killing you cpamomfromtexas Tuesday #179

Thank you very much, cpamomfromtexas.For you wonderful words. debm55 Tuesday #182

Well Abstractartist Tuesday #180

Thank you very much for words of wisdom, Abstractartist debm55 Tuesday #181

Life Abstractartist Wednesday #195

Yes we can. Thank you Abstractartist. debm55 Wednesday #196

🤙🏻 Abstractartist Wednesday #202

I am so sorry you endured such horrific abuse. Evergreen Emerald Tuesday #193

Thank you my friend, I had meeting with my new therapist the other day. And we are going to work on overcoming the need debm55 Tuesday #194

Dear, sweet Deb, you are a miracle! Dorothy V Wednesday #197

Thank you very much, my dear friend, Dorothy V. Love. deb debm55 Wednesday #198

Damn, that's just horrible RazorbackExpat Wednesday #199

Yes, I do, Thank you very much RazorbackExpat. debm55 Wednesday #200

(I bring you a memosa, and sit next to you) gay texan Wednesday #201

I love memosas and I love you my friend. Love, debbie. debm55 Wednesday #203