Thank you MIss Manners [View all]

[question everything]

Dear Miss Manners: Why is tipping expected? I was under the impression that it was up to the customer. In my state, servers are paid minimum wage, so it’s not a question of being underpaid.

And why am I expected to supplement a stranger’s income? If you’re not making enough money, get a different job! I’m so disgusted by this begging that I don’t tip anyone, anywhere. Is tipping really a requirement?

Miss Manners replies: You are mighty cavalier about the livability of the minimum wage, and about the ease of getting a better-paying job. You absolutely must tip those workers whose jobs traditionally require it.

Miss Manners often rails against the whole idea — why should a worker’s wages depend on the whims of customers? Yet because that is the current system, she considers some tipping mandatory.

The notion that tipping is a reward for good service is insulting to the worker, with its implication that good service is not to be expected without an extra bribe. More importantly, it is unreliable, as it justifies the patron in withholding payment if not — reasonably or unreasonably — satisfied. Those tips are simply part of the cost of the meal; bad service should be reported to management.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2025/12/09/miss-manners-tipping-culture-expected/