Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

LuckyCharms

(21,547 posts)
3. Listen to me Deb...
Mon Dec 29, 2025, 10:41 PM
6 hrs ago

I want you to do something.

I want you to understand...

Going no contact does not mean just going no contact physically.

You need to detach from them in your mind also.

Not easy, is it?

DO NOT let your trauma dictate how you feel about yourself.

Let it go...think about this Debbie...

It was not you that precipitated your trauma...it was other people. Not you.

I can tell how you are by your posts. You're strong, loving and caring. You care about other people. You are not your parents. You are not your sister. You are nobody else but you. Are you going to let this trauma kill you Debbie? Why would you fret so over the actions of others?

If it sounds like I am lecturing, it's because I am.

I'm not a therapist. But...I am estranged from my remaining siblings who did me wrong. You MUST tell yourself that it's them and not you.

You MUST detach mentally.

I'm saying all of this out of kindness Deb.

And if these words are useless to you, please seek therapy.

I went through a long period of guilt after I detached, but trust me, you will thank yourself.

if you are unable to detach, get help, and get help quickly. You don't want to live the rest of your life living in the judgements of other people.

Don't give a fuck who is proud of you Deb. Just be proud of yourself. That's all that matters.

We get one life. Don't go to your grave feeling like this.

Recommendations

13 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Latest Discussions»The DU Lounge»I have to be honest with ...»Reply #3