to become the cheerful, positive person you are.
Your family is not you, and Im sure that the holiday season is behind your recent funk.
I think Ive told you before that I wrote my family off a couple decades ago. I was always the odd one out. I was ridiculed for being smart (straight As with no effort), quiet, artistic, and I guess neglected because I didnt need the supervision my siblings did. I was always told I was weird and they couldnt understand how I got that way.
Then Rush Limbaugh happened and democratic Iowa became an early victim of what eventually became MAGA. I moved to Florida and pretty much cut ties with the lot of them (LOLFlorida was democratic when I got here, so fine escape that was
*eyeroll*) My sister took everything my mum left behind when she died (would have spared me a lot of financial grief when I divorced my arsehole of an ex, an abusive malignant narcissist who also became bizarrely religious and later, a fkg trumperand still owes me 17 years of alimony), but in the end, Im still better off without themand yes, the holidays are weird for me, too. We (kids and I) pretty much ignore them completely since my ex ruined everything for us, and it becomes less of an issue as time goes on.
People think blood is all, but its not. We see who you are here and I feel pretty safe saying your birth family doesnt deserve you. You seem a kind and gentle person and you need to pick family who appreciates you for who you are, not who you come from. Sounds like youve taken your first steps and are well on your way. *hugs*