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buzzycrumbhunger

(1,627 posts)
5. I still don't know how you emerged from all that...
Mon Dec 29, 2025, 11:11 PM
9 hrs ago

… to become the cheerful, positive person you are.

Your family is not you, and I’m sure that the holiday season is behind your recent funk.

I think I’ve told you before that I wrote my family off a couple decades ago. I was always the odd one out. I was ridiculed for being “smart” (straight As with no effort), quiet, artistic, and I guess neglected because I didn’t “need” the supervision my siblings did. I was always told I was weird and they couldn’t understand how I got that way.

Then Rush Limbaugh happened and democratic Iowa became an early victim of what eventually became MAGA. I moved to Florida and pretty much cut ties with the lot of them (LOL—Florida was democratic when I got here, so fine escape that was… *eyeroll*) My sister took everything my mum left behind when she died (would have spared me a lot of financial grief when I divorced my arsehole of an ex, an abusive malignant narcissist who also became bizarrely religious and later, a fkg trumper—and still owes me 17 years of alimony), but in the end, I’m still better off without them—and yes, the holidays are weird for me, too. We (kids and I) pretty much ignore them completely since my ex ruined everything for us, and it becomes less of an issue as time goes on.

People think “blood” is all, but it’s not. We see who you are here and I feel pretty safe saying your birth family doesn’t deserve you. You seem a kind and gentle person and you need to pick “family” who appreciates you for who you are, not who you come from. Sounds like you’ve taken your first steps and are well on your way. *hugs*

Recommendations

3 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

... SheltieLover 9 hrs ago #1
Good. Stay away from toxic people. "I love you....not" - Jesus wept! LoisB 9 hrs ago #2
Listen to me Deb... LuckyCharms 9 hrs ago #3
This is great advice, Deb, and Lucky Charms is being about as honest and kind as anyone could ask for. Deuxcents 9 hrs ago #4
Great advice. And to add - your first priority is Rich. He loves you and cares about you but is also ill question everything 9 hrs ago #6
This -- these . fierywoman 7 hrs ago #13
I still don't know how you emerged from all that... buzzycrumbhunger 9 hrs ago #5
I understand, deb True Dough 9 hrs ago #7
Hang in there Deb you're loved on DU kimbutgar 8 hrs ago #8
How awful iemanja 8 hrs ago #9
Stay strong. We love you. ❤️ littlemissmartypants 8 hrs ago #10
Do not send those people any more money - TBF 7 hrs ago #11
Babe hugshugs hugs irisblue 7 hrs ago #12
I am so sorry Tree Lady 7 hrs ago #14
Hugs and more hugs. summer_in_TX 7 hrs ago #15
debm55 -- I saw your lead line and had to read your post. Thank You for your pure honesty. George McGovern 7 hrs ago #16
Cyber-hugs, deb. Dear_Prudence 6 hrs ago #17
Very well said Debbie, JMCKUSICK 2 hrs ago #18
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