How does one regain self-confidence after having it shattered?

[Bucky]

11. Nice post, Mitt.

Sorry, had to do that. Seriously, you can only control what you do, not others. It sounds like a generalized anxiety you have about aging. Don't fight age; embrace it. Whoever you hook up with will be aging, too. Am I remembering correctly and you posted earlier this year about your l'affairs d'amor? If so, I can only recommend time, risk, and Buddhist sense of detachment. Personal relationships are of the nature to change. Some whither and some evolve, but they always change over time. Accept that. Stay light on your feet.

If you find a lover accept that it could all end today, every day, and realize that you'll survive the change. Stay in the moment at all times and stay light on your feet. Mostly, stay spontaneous. Guys like a chick who keeps surprising them. It's okay to share your heart and your fears, but I recommend a balance of about 8 parts fun to 3 parts sex to 1 part share your fears, blended in with 5 parts being quiet and relaxed together and 8 parts being okay with yourself when yall are away from each other. Obviously this recipe will changed over time and will vary from couple to couple.

But the most important thing is to be okay with yourself. Work on that. Self confidene isn't a trick you learn. It's a muscle that you have to exercise, lest it whither.