The worst part of a colonoscopy?

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16. The feeling of vulnerability and loss of dignity clad in a hospital gown with tubes in me

I've never ever been "down" before. It was all so new to me: Laying there in a wheeled cart waiting for them to administer the anesthesia and with all this shit hanging off of me and looking up at the ceiling lights feeling helpless and musing to myself "So this is what it's like to be down in a hospital". I did not like the feeling and it steeled my resolve never to be busted up bad enough to be in this situation, even if in some outpatient surgery.

Really though, all in all the whole thing, including the prep, was not bad. My apprehensions were vanquished.

The prep wasn't that bad. I drank salty bullion broth all day and the cleanser stuff, while being cloyingly sweet, didn't make me hurl. I did the "two step" method, and each time I was "done" in an hour, though that hour was spent totally on the pot. I thought I'd be climbing the walls with food cravings, but I wasn't at all. Strange.

I was utterly shocked at how fast the anesthesia took hold. I remember seeing them push the syringe into the IV tube and any effort I made to note my first ever passing into never-never land was thwarted as I was out like a light less than a second after seeing it. I did not dream.

Next thing I know I was in another room and feeling more coherent than I figured I had any right to be. The nurse kept stressing for me to take it easy but I was determined to show I was OK and perhaps overdid being cerebral in showing I was alright to get up. I couldn't pass wind in front of an attractive woman nurse, so she left and let me do my thing. I felt SO good to shed that stupid gown and put my jeans, boots and shirt on. I felt normal again. I pleasantly but firmly refused to be wheeled out in a wheelchair: I wanted to walk out and feel like my old self again, especially after hearing of good results.

You know what? I thought that after 38 hours of no solid food, I'd be mad with hunger: I wasn't. I just ate because I figured I should. Once I got my appetite back though, I majorly chowed down.

I was apprehensive, even frightened at first, but now I'll do it again without any qualms whatsoever.