My ex-wife passed away last night and...

[LiberalEsto]

5. So sorry, rppper

Maybe this will help a little:

When I was 23, my mom passed away after many years of illness - undiagnosed severe fibromyalgia - and addiction to the painkillers she took for it. The painkillers destroyed her kidneys and she was on dialysis for the last few years of her life. Dialysis in the early 1970s was painful and she needed four-hour sessions 3 times a week.

At the time she died, I felt a sense of relief that she was no longer suffering.

But as the months passed, I began to miss her, and didn't really start grieving until she'd been gone for a year.

I missed her and grieved as various milestones passed, when I got married, when my kids were born, and as they were growing up. At the same time, I reminded myself that if she were alive, she would be physically miserable.

Grief comes and goes. Don't push yourself or your kids to feel a certain way, just let it take its course. Talk about her with them. Talk about the good memories.