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hunter

(40,667 posts)

33. If I wrote a hyperbole-and-a-half story about a childhood Christmas, it might not be so funny.

Wed Mar 27, 2013, 09:41 PM

Mar 2013

Maybe it would be if I tried really hard, but mine wasn't a flying Jesus doll beaten with a stick -- it was thrown crockery, knives raised in anger, and a grandpa taking a crying grandma home before Christmas diner was served.

Others were too drunk to drive and they knew enough not to, so they just crashed anywhere. Mostly their aim was good when they crawled to the bathroom to puke. Now that's a polite house guest!

Crying grandma was probably the only "normal" person in our Addams family household but nobody else saw it that way. Everyone just figured grandma had some kind of nervous disorder. Sectarian violence is a normal part of any Christmas celebration, right? You all know Christ wasn't born in December and Christmas trees are pagan? Right?

I always wanted a novice level HAM radio or a computer for Christmas but I never got one.

Later I discovered the interenet. After that I had no regrets about those Christmas wishes I was never granted. Now I have a supercomputer under my desk connected to a world wide web.

In your dreams, Santa!

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I didn't know that Kenny Loggins was dead� [View all] MrScorpio Mar 2013 OP

I saw that on Facebook & had a good laugh HarveyDarkey Mar 2013 #1

I'm gonna need a new keyboard and monitor... Aristus Mar 2013 #2

Holy crap! In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #3

What's worse... Aristus Mar 2013 #4

oops In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #5

No damage done, though. Aristus Mar 2013 #7

Aristus In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #11

Yeah... Aristus Mar 2013 #12

You did say In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #14

I did. Aristus Mar 2013 #17

I was falling asleep until I read THAT PM. T.Y.V.M.! In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #19

*sigh* Can't take you two anywhere. nolabear Mar 2013 #26

The problem is: time and distance. About 3 hours. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #28

So... Aristus Mar 2013 #35

So ... In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #40

I need a new keyboard every few months.... Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #18

Well there was this tune... bluesbassman Mar 2013 #6

This was playing the year I started college. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #13

That's my favorite Loggins and Messina song pamela Mar 2013 #20

pamela are you back in your home now? In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #21

Well, we got back in but we sold it. pamela Mar 2013 #22

imo: Tears help to wash away the pain. This " We're in a good place now." is wonderful. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #24

nice link hopemountain Mar 2013 #31

He has joined Merle Haggard pintobean Mar 2013 #8

Poor Merle. Killed on the radio. Has anyone told him yet? pinboy3niner Mar 2013 #41

hmmm! What is it with these *DOG* DUers ? In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #42

Dog's a good guy pinboy3niner Mar 2013 #43

We seem to have a few dog guys around DU. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #44

We have plenty of good guys and good gals here pinboy3niner Mar 2013 #45

pinboy3niner In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #46

Back atcha... pinboy3niner Mar 2013 #47

Winter, Spring, Sumer or Fall! In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #48

OMG!!! Wait Wut Mar 2013 #9

This is Kenny Loggins best song. aaaaaa5a Mar 2013 #10

I got this on my doorstep. So we can laugh , but they are organized. mahina Mar 2013 #15

LOL graywarrior Mar 2013 #16

Kenny Loggins can't be Christ! Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas! Bertha Venation Mar 2013 #23

If I wrote a hyperbole-and-a-half story about a childhood Christmas, it might not be so funny. hunter Mar 2013 #33

I'd get you a HAM radio if we could go back in time Bertha Venation Mar 2013 #37

Yep, he is Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #25

LOL! n/t OneGrassRoot Mar 2013 #27

I didn't even know he was sick!!?! lastlib Mar 2013 #29

HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!!!! Initech Mar 2013 #30

There's no need to worry. Recovered Repug Mar 2013 #32

I posted a similar mimi85 Mar 2013 #34

Don't go gettin all Messinac on us whistler162 Mar 2013 #36

I guess hippie Jesus is out of fashion? Tabasco_Dave Mar 2013 #38

My sister had him over for dinner once. kwassa Mar 2013 #39