Violence. I need serious advice, please.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

22. UPDATE

I was having a hard time sorting out my feelings, as if you guys couldn't tell. I had a new talk with hubby the night before last (the blackout delayed my update).

I told him he was a hero and more importantly he was MY hero and how proud I am to be his wife. Then I let him know how much I enjoyed being his wife.

I really appreciate everyone's input -- even MADem who accused me of being as big as a Volkswagon. It really helped me look at myself -- especially my hips (MADEM, you know you won't be living this one down for some time to come, right?) -- and put everything into perspective.

I'm proud of my husband because he did the right thing the right way to the best anyone could hope for. If that is the bottom line and factually true than the rest is just understanding the context of my emotional reaction. Violence is scary even when you know you have nothing left but I think -- ironically -- I've found peace with that. That's not to say I'm not still the naive hippy-chick he started dating and he really touched my heart when he said, "I am the way the world is. You are what the world ought to be."

(He's always such a "guy" but he drops these proverb-like gems out of nowhere. Can you see why I love him?)

He also reminded me that soldiers make the best pacificists. We had a very quiet night together just talking and laughing in each other's arms. Life is good.