Went to the Emergency Room last night, send me your curse!! [View all]

[grantcart]

Last night my strep throat apparently went beyond viral and with some strange bacterial addition created a sensation so painful that I couldn't swallow anything, even siliva.

Had to go to the ER. Got in, got out, got steroids, antibiotics and thankfully, oxy.

Normally at DU this kind of news would generate a stream of hugs and warm wishes and prayers.

I think that those warm wishes, prayers and cyberhugs have great value.

If nothing else they make the sender more aware and more empathetic.

DUers are already aware and empathetic.

So don't send me your warm wishes, prayers, or cyberhugs.

Send me a low level harmless but irritting curse.

That will make me feel better. After all I am a homo sapien whose true spirit is captured in this old joke

Two Russian peasants live in the tundra with two identical plots growing a few potatoes, a few beets and having a little vodka and freezing most of the time.

Except that one of them has a goat and gets a little milk, a little cheese and a little companionship.

The other peasant was out in the woods and discovered a lamp, rubbed it and released the Genie.

The Genie proclaims, "You have released me from a 400 year curse and normally I would grant you 3 wishes but you are so miserable you get one wish. Think carefully you only get one wish.

The peasant thinks carefully for a couple of hours and states "Kill my neighbor's goat".

Now I seem to be particularly sensitive to medicine, and don't even drink more than 3 beers a year so the oxy has had quite an impact, dulling not just the pain but my civil sensibilities as well.

So don't send me warm wishes, send me a low level mischevious curse, in my oxy state of mind that will make me feel better.


I'll start


"On Cliffordu's next 'date' I hope that on the way in to the restaurant you step in a soft pool of bubble gum and as a result walk with such a funny gait that people think that you should be getting on the wagon, not that you are on it; and that you spend the rest of the date furtively trying to scrape it off, giving your date a weird vibe so that even though its your birthday, you had a fight just so you could get the make up sex, and your date is at the peak of hormones compelling conjugal action, you don't even get to first base.


See now I feel better.

Isn't Oxy grand??