The DU Lounge

Sekhmets Daughter

(7,515 posts)

19. And that one other person is as shy as yourself, no doubt?

Tue Apr 16, 2013, 08:03 PM

Apr 2013

I was shy when I was much younger. A psychology professor explained that, in her opinion, shyness is due to self-absorption. The shy are so focused on themselves, they never see the other shy people in the room. Thinking about her words made me realize that, at least in my case, she had a valid point. I began focusing on those who were even more shy than myself. It worked, before I knew it I no longer refused to meet new people or make new friends. It was amazing.

When I married I was placed in a situation wherein I was constantly meeting new people, expected to enter a room full of hundreds of strangers and make everyone feel welcomed and at ease. The last of the shyness pretty much went out the door.

The thing about attraction between or among the sexes is that initially it is always superficial. People are attracted to the people others are attracted to. Focus on others, they will appreciate your attention. Soon others will be focusing on you.

Cheer up...

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

51 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I don't see the point of going to the gym anymore [View all] alarimer Apr 2013 OP

Do it for yourself..not others.. HipChick Apr 2013 #1

I am laughing at the concept of me getting up at 5 am unless I absolutely have to. alarimer Apr 2013 #6

UGH! Nobody said you have to exercise first thing in the day... Quantess Apr 2013 #38

Your heart cares! Phentex Apr 2013 #2

Except I hate it. alarimer Apr 2013 #4

I can sympathize GaYellowDawg Apr 2013 #13

Do it for yourself, your own health & vitality... hlthe2b Apr 2013 #3

All the extra years come at the end, anyway. alarimer Apr 2013 #5

B/c you matter! Dash87 Apr 2013 #7

Yes, online alarimer Apr 2013 #10

I say this in a kind and loving way, Dyedinthewoolliberal Apr 2013 #15

I am incapable of taking the initiative alarimer Apr 2013 #18

are you incapable of finding Dyedinthewoolliberal Apr 2013 #33

If you're going to the gym to impress other people LeftofObama Apr 2013 #8

Six months of actively trying alarimer Apr 2013 #11

Maybe you need to stop trying and just concentrate on feeling better. LeftofObama Apr 2013 #12

Well not around this town, I won't. alarimer Apr 2013 #16

Can you move with your job? HipChick Apr 2013 #28

I would like that. alarimer Apr 2013 #45

Keep on exercising. bigwillq Apr 2013 #9

You are like the watched pot, that never boils! Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #14

That doesn't happen to people like me. alarimer Apr 2013 #17

And that one other person is as shy as yourself, no doubt? Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #19

It's more than shyness alarimer Apr 2013 #20

I do believe that's called "Self-fulfilling Prophecy." Sekhmets Daughter Apr 2013 #22

This message was self-deleted by its author Moondog Apr 2013 #21

go to the gym because it is good for you. no other reason is needed. take care of yourself. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2013 #23

I avoid broccoli, even though it's good for me. alarimer Apr 2013 #25

don't make me go all Nike on you ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2013 #26

It always happens when you least expect it ... at least for me. n/t RKP5637 Apr 2013 #24

Colloquially speaking mythology Apr 2013 #27

My job exhausts me alarimer Apr 2013 #29

I don't like every kind of exercise I do, Incitatus Apr 2013 #30

I understand. dawg Apr 2013 #31

6 months? I've gone 6 years....and more abq e streeter Apr 2013 #32

Now that it is finally spring I should get outside more. alarimer Apr 2013 #42

That sounds GREAT abq e streeter Apr 2013 #43

Find something you like tblue Apr 2013 #34

I've joined a few Meetup groups alarimer Apr 2013 #35

alarimer... femmocrat Apr 2013 #36

I've been in this particular rut for a while. alarimer Apr 2013 #40

That is a great plan! femmocrat Apr 2013 #41

I agree with femmocrat Lydia Leftcoast Apr 2013 #44

I'm wondering if you're in a vicious cycle: the depression makes you exhausted so you don't exercise riderinthestorm Apr 2013 #37

No doubt about it. alarimer Apr 2013 #39

Do they have water aerobics classes? Lydia Leftcoast Apr 2013 #46

This is a VERY small town alarimer Apr 2013 #49

That's a start, at least Lydia Leftcoast Apr 2013 #50

If you don't like exercise, it likely is you haven't found what you like to do, yet. Quantess Apr 2013 #47

I don't run outside generally. alarimer Apr 2013 #48

I went to a brand new club 30 years ago for a walkaround spiderpig Apr 2013 #51