1. Did you find that the respondents to your OP stayed on topic?
A. Yes.
B. No.
C. My Grandmother used to be a knife-thrower in a circus act.
2. Is there a particular reason that use chose this specific topic to post on DU today?
A. No, not really. I have a long list of petty grievances that irk me; this is just the current one.
B. I am actually somewhat compulsive, and fill out every survey asked to IRL...AND I CAN'T STOP IT.
C. Even though the Chuckles the Clown had broken up with her only the week previous to the incident and was tragically killed by Grandma during one of her performances, his death was ruled as an accident at the inquest.
3. Did you find today's current posting experience to be a pleasant one?
A. Yes
B. No.
C. Grandma taught me how to roll my own cigarettes with one hand when I was twelve, and how to fashion a silencer for a firearm out of a tomato soup can and a roll of toilet paper.
4. Do you have any suggestions as how we could improve today's posting experience for you?
A. No, it's about as good as it gets.
B. I would like to have the ability to beat some posters over the head with a large hard salami. It wouldn't improve anything, I just like beating people in the head with cured lunchmeat products.
C. Mom said that it was up to us kids to help her keep Grandma away from Dad on her visits, because Mom said that Grandma liked to get "too friendly" with just about any man she laid eyes on.
5. Did you find that posting in The Lounge is a good value for your money?
A. You have *got* to be kidding me.
B. Absolutely. It's cheaper than boxed wine, with no blinding hangover the next morning. Most of the time.
C. Grandma taught us kids that the most important thing in life is to remember when it's your first day in prison to always pick a fight with the toughest inmate there, in order to establish your cred right away.
6. One last question, when was the last time you had an affair with a one-eyed woman?
A. Never.
B. Define "Affair".
C. Sorry, Grandma wanted me to ask you this. She said you'd hardly notice that she had only one eye after she got you good and drunk, then tied you to the bed.
Thank you for your time in completing our survey. We enjoyed your participation and wasting your time filling out something that no one will ever pay any attention to whatsoever.
Have A Nice Day!
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