based on what they imagine a person's gender is.

I don't go for arguments that are based solely on "I am (fill in gender, ethnicity, faith, other personal identifier) ergo, my experience is the experience of everyone in the group, and because of that, my authority on this topic is superior to yours.

I do think those specifics can sometimes INFORM a conversation, but they don't work with me as trump cards.

I don't mind if people guard their privacy--it's a very public world and if people want to keep some details close to the vest, that's their right.