Didn't have many dates in high school because I was smart.
Mother thought I was supposed to wear red lipstick and nothing else on my face. She thought you were supposed to look like Joan Crawford and overdress. She was furious at me when I went to college and didn't take a single dress with me. She thought we were supposed to have formal dances and wear ball gowns. I hated wearing a dress to school every day for 12 years.
In college I wore jeans and t shirts and long hair and no makeup. I had lots of dates. I dated smart guys--physics, math, engineering majors. She was horrified and didn't think I was ladylike. Dressed me funny. Gave me perms when I was little, so I would have damned Shirley Temple ringlets. Then she wondered why I came home crying b/c the little shits picked on me.
Now, fifty years later, my gray hair dries in ringlets when I wash it. She never appreciated what she had (a loving husband and daughters) and had borderline personality disorder. Loved to stir up a soap opera and be devious. She was a serious hoarder. Dad was a dry drunk who felt like she was a millstone around his neck. She would shop and blow money and hurt him emotionally.
I scored 145 on an IQ test when I was five, 3 SDs above normal. Earned 3 college degrees including a doctorate. Had a couple of serious health problems that gave me extreme fatigue. I was never praised for anything except being smart and being a trained monkey musician, although I loved music and was good at it. She didn't want me to have kids, because "it doesn't take any brains to have a kid". I did eventually have a kid because I had a very unbalanced life and wanted my family to live on.
The Smothers Brothers, you remember their "Mom always liked you best" routine?
Mom would say "This is a picture of my beautiful, smart and intelligent daughter" and whip out a picture of our beautiful collie dog who was prettier than Lassie. That hurt.
My big sister was the "Cute" one. She had guys follow her around. I was the "smart" one.
In high school I was convinced I must look like a frog since the boys didn't ask me out. My mom wanted me to join ROTC so I would have dates. That was embarrassing. I was already busy with school and orchestra.
My present hubby found a large picture of me I had had taken in 1982 when I was in law school and had given to my grandmother, when we moved into my grandmother's house.
He said "You're the most gorgeous brunette I've ever seen" when he saw that picture.
He tells me I'm gorgeous a lot.
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