The new Taco Bell breakfast menu.

[Doc Holliday]

3. The gullible, I presume.

The only fast food breakfast I like is WhataBurger. Taco Bell, McD's, BK....they'll never get me in the door.

Even WB is a last resort...when I'm too tired or disinclined to cook my own breakfast, or can't con the wife into doing it.

I'm old-school...I like those big heart-attack-on-a-plate breakfasts, and keep the coffee coming. Eggs, bacon or sausage (links or patties, I don't care), biscuits and gravy...maybe even a short stack of pancakes if i really wanna get jiggy-wid-it.


Those who feel compelled to comment on my breakfast choices say stuff like, "Wow, I can hear your arteries clogging as we speak!" or similar half-witticisms as they nibble on their fruit, eat their oatmeal and sip their juice. I-- 58 years of age, 6'3" tall and weighing in at 205 well-toned pounds-- just smile and say, "Yeah, and I heard that joke coming a mile away. Pass the butter, please."

I was born with a certain kind of metabolism...and I wouldn't trade it for anything. So many of my peers, especially those in sedentary professions, have to invest a lot of costly and sweaty time and effort to keep those extra pounds off.