Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

The DU Lounge

Yavin4

(37,182 posts) Sat Aug 17, 2013, 09:36 PM Aug 2013

Could you have a relationship with someone that you were not strongly attracted to? [View all]

I know people who do this and continue to do this. A friend of mine is married, but he still pines for another woman. And, he was upset when this other woman got married. He loves his wife, but he's not as attracted to her as he is to this other woman.

I simply could not do something like that. I have to be attracted to someone before I even ask them out. It's also why I don't have faith in online dating. I need to feel something for a person before I go out with them. Having things in common is not the basis for a future relationship.

42 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Could you have a relationship with someone that you were not strongly attracted to? [View all] Yavin4 Aug 2013 OP

No. Chan790 Aug 2013 #1

How do you define compatible? Sounds like you are compatible with Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2013 #3

No. Not at all. Chan790 Aug 2013 #7

so then Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2013 #9

well fortunately there are avenues for a gentleman of your discerning standards azurnoir Aug 2013 #25

yup this, i only have ever dated hot, the sexual attraction has to be off the scale loli phabay Aug 2013 #8

What a remarkably shallow attitude Fortinbras Armstrong Aug 2013 #14

I'm happy for you and anybody who finds what they want in a partner. Chan790 Aug 2013 #15

If you don't understand that you are going for the superficial Fortinbras Armstrong Aug 2013 #17

Other than looks... Chan790 Aug 2013 #28

Do you plan on living to an old age? eShirl Aug 2013 #2

Long lasting relationships tend to share a similar value system. I think this would be more Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2013 #4

+1 Go Vols Aug 2013 #34

No. Denninmi Aug 2013 #5

Your question and the situation are different u4ic Aug 2013 #6

yes Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2013 #10

That this guy is pining u4ic Aug 2013 #24

good to see you, u4ic - been a while - Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2013 #26

Nice to see you, too, TA! u4ic Aug 2013 #32

My wife and I aren't really attracted to each other olddots Aug 2013 #11

I have no experience upon which to form an opinion BUT... Locut0s Aug 2013 #12

Sometimes the attraction fades but the relationship becomes a good friendship. In_The_Wind Aug 2013 #13

Exactly... pipi_k Aug 2013 #16

I think attraction can and should be more than physical alarimer Aug 2013 #18

I'm always amazed when there is no attraction and somehow through time and later hormones a bond jakeXT Aug 2013 #19

No (nt) bigwillq Aug 2013 #20

That what beer is for ConcernedCanuk Aug 2013 #21

Beer has been around A LOT longer than that. Neoma Aug 2013 #40

I met someone once MrsBrady Aug 2013 #22

Thank you for this. Yavin4 Aug 2013 #23

I absolutely agree, it happened to me as well. Sheldon Cooper Aug 2013 #38

Sounds familiar blueamy66 Aug 2013 #42

Not for sex. nt UTUSN Aug 2013 #27

Attracted to? 24 yrs and I just want to not wish I were dead, every day, which being in this SammyWinstonJack Aug 2013 #29

I've been married for forty years. UtahLib Aug 2013 #33

Well, that sounds terrible. Sheldon Cooper Aug 2013 #37

Probably, but when I was a young man I was sexual attracted B Calm Aug 2013 #30

Having things in common is not the basis for a future relationship??? DebJ Aug 2013 #31

I'm with you on that one. I thought having things in common was the BASIS of a good, lasting patricia92243 Aug 2013 #36

I prefer women smarter than myself, Go Vols Aug 2013 #35

No, but I find some physically attractive people repulsive. Dash87 Aug 2013 #39

Many physically attractive people abuse their good looks to fool people ConcernedCanuk Aug 2013 #41