Today sucks as much as this day a year ago... [View all]

[one_voice]

A year ago today, we lost my 16 year old nephew. He had a seizure and died of cardiac arrest. He had no history of seizures or heart problems. Turned out the school had an AED and didn't use it.

The autopsy showed a small heart deformity, that hadn't shown up on any tests or exams. He'd had a physical a week before so he could participate in school activities.

They also told us, that had the AED been used he'd still be with us.

My brother (it was his son) is bi-polar, so he's trying to deal with that and this loss. He has two daughters, one lives here and one lives in Washington State. Both the girls are a complete mess. He's not married (divorced) so he has no one at home with him. I worry about him so much. I don't know how to help him.

I miss Andrew terribly, but I can't do anything to bring him back. My heart is breaking for my brother--we've always been close--but I can't reach him. I know he needs time, I know this has got to be the worst possible thing anyone could go through. Truth be told, I'd probably still be curled up in a fetal position if I'd lost one of my children.

I feel so useless, like I should know what to do. I've always been able to jump in and help, no matter what the situation, fix things--for lack of a better term. I have 3 brothers and a sister. I feel like I help raise them, even my older brother (the one that lost his son we're 13 months apart) my parents worked shift work and I was always in charge. I've always been there for all of them, but this time I can't do anything.

I hate this! I hate watching him slowly slipping away, he's a shell of who he used to be. This is the same brother that stood in line in the pouring rain all night to get my sister Bon Jovi tickets. He's the same guy that when my husband and I were having some marital issues, brought me flowers and took me out on Valentines day, so I wasn't as sad.

He's a great person and this is killing him.

I don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening!