The Non Sports Fan’s Guide to Maybe Enjoying the Super Bowl [View all]

[bluedigger]

The 46th Super Bowl in the history of the National Football League takes place on Sunday night. If you're saying "duh," then please feel free to move on to another corner of the Internet. If you're saying, "Is that the thing with the dogs?" then please keep reading.

What is the Super Bowl?

The Super Bowl is the annual championship game for the NFL. It pairs rampant American consumerism and gluttony with a nearly murderous contact sport so that We can be entertained and They can make money. It's a very fair arrangement that has worked seamlessly for more than 46 years—excluding that one time that half of America was briefly subjected to the horrors of a bare nipple on national television, which likely ruined the hearts and minds of an entire generation.

Ugh, whatever; shut up. What time does the Super Bowl start?

Well, we've been over this, and the Huffington Post was on it years ago. Super Bowl XLVI begins at 6:30 p.m. EST and will be aired on NBC.

I don't care what time it starts because football is boring and/or nothing but a terrifying public stage for the gradual destruction of men's brains. Who's doing the national anthem this year?

Kelly Clarkson.


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