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sharp_stick

(14,400 posts)

15. Two from January mornings

Wed Sep 25, 2013, 02:12 PM

Sep 2013

during my childhood while unplugging the block heater from the car Dad would often be heard:

"Dammit...colder than a witches tit out here"

I had no idea that witches had that problem but it must be true.

Also to be heard at the same time because in January at that latitude the sun didn't come up till about 8:30:

"Blacker than a coal-miners arse"

I think that one is pretty much self-explanatory.

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"I didn't know him from Adam's housecat" and other sayings... [View all] steve2470 Sep 2013 OP

"The house was so small, there wasn't enough room to swing a dead cat." Squinch Sep 2013 #1

what's with all the fascination with dead cats lol steve2470 Sep 2013 #3

I guess dead cats were a thing. That people liked to handle a lot. Squinch Sep 2013 #11

If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car meow2u3 Sep 2013 #2

throwing the cat amongst the pigeons loli phabay Sep 2013 #4

"Crazier than an outhouse rat" n/t sarge43 Sep 2013 #5

"Couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle". n/t winter is coming Sep 2013 #6

It doesn't taste like it's spent the night where a blueberry's been. Denninmi Sep 2013 #7

"Shit fire and save the matches!" and "I see said the blind man walking off the cliff backwards" Rowdyboy Sep 2013 #8

Those are Southern colloquialisms. Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #12

Don't we though! My uncle, a farmer used to say "That ain't no hill for a stepper" Rowdyboy Sep 2013 #31

When Things Got Rough, My Mother Would Always Say.... becca da bakkah Sep 2013 #9

If you looked sloppy, my mother would say "You look like Annie off the pickle boat." Squinch Sep 2013 #10

lmao never heard this one nt steve2470 Sep 2013 #13

"The Devil is beating his wife." Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #14

The old folks used to say that when the sun was shining and it was raining at the same time. Arkansas Granny Sep 2013 #21

Us young (well kinda) folks say it too. Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #23

I heard it as a kid in SW Missouri. I'm surprised Oklahoma folks didn't know it. Arkansas Granny Sep 2013 #24

I think it is a Southern phrase. I don't consider OK to be Southern. Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #25

OK would certainly be insulted to hear that, Sentath Sep 2013 #39

Actually, I don't think they would be. Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #40

Two from January mornings sharp_stick Sep 2013 #15

yea, the witch's tit one always puzzled me a tad nt steve2470 Sep 2013 #17

Witches tit (or teat) goes back to the 16th century hack89 Sep 2013 #18

Cool sharp_stick Sep 2013 #19

Older southern folks also used "Colder than a well-diggers ass in Idaho" Rowdyboy Sep 2013 #33

"Ugly words and filthy phrases!" Aristus Sep 2013 #16

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Sep 2013 #28

"It's raining pitchforks and hammer handles" was one of my mother's sayings. Arkansas Granny Sep 2013 #20

My dad would say: "he's not playin' with a full deck" and "his elevator doesn't go to the top floor pink-o Sep 2013 #22

My fave is "The porch light is on, but no one is home!" Behind the Aegis Sep 2013 #26

"They're so poor, they don't have a pot to piss in." Squinch Sep 2013 #27

"He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel" Rowdyboy Sep 2013 #30

LOLOLOLOL!!! Squinch Sep 2013 #34

Mike Malloy's , "sack of doorknobs." Graybeard Sep 2013 #29

torn up like a snake in a lawnmower arely staircase Sep 2013 #32

It'll never be seen on a galloping horse. antiquie Sep 2013 #35

Here's another: Slower than molasses running uphill in January. Arkansas Granny Sep 2013 #36

"I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on a grass fire"... awoke_in_2003 Sep 2013 #37

lmao too funny ! nt steve2470 Sep 2013 #38

"I trust him about as far as I can sling a piano" TorchTheWitch Sep 2013 #41

"can't win a piss fight with a skunk" and.... steve2470 Sep 2013 #42