WOW! Pilot Crashes on First Solo

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. When I was working as a flight instructor that was my biggest fear -

that my student would crash on his/her first solo. I'd go up to the air traffic control tower and watch nervously from there and I wouldn't relax until they were down, back on the ramp and the engine was shut off. Nobody ever did crash, though, which was a good thing since our airport was surrounded by tall buildings and a river.

This guy really dorked up his traffic pattern - looked like he clipped the corner and descended waaaay too soon.
I'd love to hear his explanation for his brain fart. Good thing he wasn't hurt, but I'm sure the airplane was a total loss.