My cat does X just to make me crazy.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. Annoying Things My Cats Do:

Jeoffry licks me. And licks and licks and licks until I'm covered in cat spit. And he sits on my right arm when I'm at the computer so I can't do anything, and refuses to leave. I shove his fat ass off me and he comes right back.

Milo does this passive-aggressive thing where he waits until I've almost fallen asleep, then he tries to knock over the lamp on the table next to the bed. I yell at him and he stops. Then he waits a few minutes and does it again. And again. And again.

Pixie picks fights with the other cats for no particular reason, almost always at night when we're all sleeping peacefully on the bed. Then all of a sudden there's all this hissing and screeching and running around, which wakes me up. When I read in bed she stands on my chest and points her butt at me, just a few inches from my face. And she chews on my hair.

I do love them, though.