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Rob H.

(5,856 posts)
23. His writing about bears in that book is worth the price of admission all by itself
Thu May 15, 2014, 12:28 PM
May 2014
"..And how foolish must one be to be reassured by the information that no bear has killed a human in Vermont or New Hampshire in 200 years? That's not because the bears have signed a treaty, you know. There's nothing to say they won't start a modest rampage tomorrow.

So let us imagine a bear does go for us out in the wilds. What are we to do? Interestingly, the advised stratagems are exactly opposite for grizzly and black bear. With a grizzly, you should make for a tall tree, since grizzlies aren't much for climbing. If a tree is not available, then you should back off slowly, avoiding direct eye contact.

All the books tell you that if the grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life."


“My particular dread--the vivid possibility that left me staring at tree shadows on the bedroom ceiling night after night--was having to lie in a small tent, alone in an inky wilderness, listening to a foraging bear outside and wondering what its intentions were. I was especially riveted by an amateur photograph in Herrero's book, taken late at night by a camper with a flash at a campground out West. The photograph caught four black bears as they puzzled over a suspended food bag. The bears were clearly startled but not remotely alarmed by the flash. It was not the size or demeanor of the bears that troubled me--they looked almost comically nonaggressive, like four guys who had gotten a Frisbee caught up a tree--but their numbers. Up to that moment it had not occurred to me that bears might prowl in parties. What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die, of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. I would blow my sphincter out my backside like one of those unrolling paper streamers you get at children's parties--I daresay it would even give a merry toot--and bleed to a messy death in my sleeping bag.”

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I love Bryson and have read almost all of them, several times. CurtEastPoint May 2014 #1
In a Sunburned Country Ron Obvious May 2014 #4
I borrowed "Lost Continent" from my mother's collection sitting at my brother's house... MrMickeysMom May 2014 #6
How very appropriate on Mother's Day! n/t Ron Obvious May 2014 #8
I discovered him through that book... magical thyme May 2014 #11
If you liked those... Ron Obvious May 2014 #12
thank you for the tips magical thyme May 2014 #17
Oh yes, but cautious about movies... nt uriel1972 May 2014 #2
Understood Ron Obvious May 2014 #5
Great book - so many laugh-out-loud moments. NRaleighLiberal May 2014 #3
Nice! Ron Obvious May 2014 #7
I‘ll look foreward to the movie. applegrove May 2014 #9
I love that book JustAnotherGen May 2014 #10
I love all his books. The Appalachian Trail originates in the Georgia county where I was born Glorfindel May 2014 #13
A couple of his books I enjoyed locks May 2014 #14
Loved the book looking forward to the movie GusBob May 2014 #15
If you like Bryson you might want to check out the writing of Redmond O'Hanlon GusBob May 2014 #16
I hadn't heard of him Ron Obvious May 2014 #18
he's a good Lib. He has been on with Jon Stewart GusBob May 2014 #19
Oh yes! LiberalEsto May 2014 #20
My son has become a big fan and I'm happy Brother Buzz May 2014 #21
I loved it! OnionPatch May 2014 #22
His writing about bears in that book is worth the price of admission all by itself Rob H. May 2014 #23
It's opening tomorrow... Ron Obvious Sep 2015 #24
Latest Discussions»The DU Lounge»Any fans of Bill Bryson's...»Reply #23