More of my life is behind me now than ahead of me, at this age. [View all]

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I'm actually good with that - this is not a morose topic at all. Bittersweet perhaps.

Just basically, I caught up today with a former coworker; I realized in speaking with her - after an absence of contact of about a month - why I effectively brought an end to our friendship. She is a bit of a drain, and life is short, and I can't spend it wasting my energy on people who don't enrich it.

The other matter (not related to my coworker, but others) was this, that you know, here I am, at this stage in my life, wherever that is in the scheme of things. Looking back on my life, I had some tough times, and there are people who could have BEEN there for me when I needed them; but they weren't. Guess what. They aren't my favorite people, and likely will never be if I had any say in the matter. It's not even about being angry about how things turned out; it's about relationships are tested when times get tough - if you neglect those people because you can't be bothered, or you don't know how to listen or to offer guidance, then people in rough shape survive, and thrive, WITHOUT you. And guess what - when life moves on, you offer them little more than distraction, don't you? I mean, what did you amount to as a person supposedly in a relationship?

I don't know - I feel sometimes like I should do a Jane Fonda kind of thing and just forgive, unilaterally. But it's hard.