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Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)

25. Logistically impossible.

Thu Jul 10, 2014, 06:51 PM

Jul 2014

If you're drowning, I'm nowhere near you. I hate water. Not to mention, if I was close enough to lend you a hand, you wouldn't need to 'tell' me you were drowning, I'd see you flailing about in the water. I'd definitely tell someone else to lend you a hand, if that helps.

I think your best bet is to stay away from water.

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Highlight:

Would you lend a hand if I told you I was drowning? [View all] taterguy Jul 2014 OP

I would if I were a carpenter rug Jul 2014 #1

I'd lend you my ears, Joe Shlabotnik Jul 2014 #2

How the fuck could I sing if I was drowning? taterguy Jul 2014 #4

Your yodeling sounds more like gargling now. Joe Shlabotnik Jul 2014 #5

"There is something in the water tonight, oh yeah..." panader0 Jul 2014 #3

Was that song on the album No (life)Jacket Required? NightWatcher Jul 2014 #6

I would get in the water. I would lend you a hand. In_The_Wind Jul 2014 #7

I'd give you this life preserver: progressoid Jul 2014 #8

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key nt LiberalElite Jul 2014 #9

I would give you an anchor from a ship, just so you would have Autumn Jul 2014 #10

Thanks taterguy Jul 2014 #24

I would cut off your hands and head to make the corpse harder to identify. Throd Jul 2014 #11

Under the sea, under the sea, darling it's better, down where it's wetter. kwassa Jul 2014 #12

It would hinge on antiquie Jul 2014 #13

Yes - if he were drowning in Malmsey wine csziggy Jul 2014 #15

I would save you to explain yourself n/t UTUSN Jul 2014 #14

Good luck with that. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #16

What exactly is it that you don't understand? taterguy Jul 2014 #51

*I* have to explain myself?!1 n/t UTUSN Jul 2014 #52

No, you just have to tell me what you don't understand about me taterguy Jul 2014 #53

Neh, I'll just continue to chuckle with the bits I "get" & traipse on by the ones I don't. n/t UTUSN Jul 2014 #54

If a picture paints a thousand words then why can I sing Bread? Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2014 #17

Asshole Phil Collins? Corgigal Jul 2014 #18

Love Phil Collins, anything he sings is fine with me... monmouth3 Jul 2014 #49

I would write a song about it... Ron Obvious Jul 2014 #19

Only if you promise to wear this the next time you go swimming Kaleva Jul 2014 #20

Boots while swimming? taterguy Jul 2014 #23

I'd throw you a life preserver. Avalux Jul 2014 #21

I'd lend you Phil Collins' hand. Dr. Strange Jul 2014 #22

Not anymore taterguy Jul 2014 #27

I hadn't heard that his hands were fucked up so bad. Dr. Strange Jul 2014 #28

Don't quit your day job taterguy Jul 2014 #32

Logistically impossible. Wait Wut Jul 2014 #25

Stay away from water? No can do. taterguy Jul 2014 #26

sure Kali Jul 2014 #29

Until I'm finished with it taterguy Jul 2014 #31

Shoot, that scene in Risky Business with this song in the background was almost nolabear Jul 2014 #30

Know what I'll never forgive Tom Cruise for? taterguy Jul 2014 #33

I'd Throw you a rope Wolf Frankula Jul 2014 #34

I can swim a mile without breaking a sweat taterguy Jul 2014 #42

What's in it for me? Fortinbras Armstrong Jul 2014 #35

The knowledge that you didn't just stand there while someone drowned taterguy Jul 2014 #37

Money, actually Fortinbras Armstrong Jul 2014 #39

I'm drowning and you want to negotiate? taterguy Jul 2014 #41

In regards to that... malthaussen Jul 2014 #47

Oh, I'll settle for, say, $100. Cash, not credit cards. Fortinbras Armstrong Jul 2014 #50

I'd throw you a rope IrishAyes Jul 2014 #36

Say that again to this guy: muriel_volestrangler Jul 2014 #38

An actor in an ape suit? taterguy Jul 2014 #40

I have to ask you this - what would you do if I sang out of tune? LynneSin Jul 2014 #43

Tell you to shut the fuck up taterguy Jul 2014 #45

HEY! he co-wrote (and sang lead vocal) on a GREAT song: orleans Jul 2014 #44

I can't answer raptor_rider Jul 2014 #46

I'd lend a hand, but I don't know how to swim... Xyzse Jul 2014 #48