I refuse to believe people actually ate this shit in the 60s

[jmowreader]

68. I make a damn fine jello salad, thank ye very much

Get out your four-quart glass bowl and follow along:

To make my Infamous Jello Salad you will need:

One week.
A fresh box of baking soda.
One box each of five different flavors of Jello. They all need to be different colors for reasons which will soon become very apparent.
A quart of vanilla-flavored Greek yoghurt.
Five different kinds of fruit, preferably fresh.

First step is to prepare your refrigerator to hold this food of the gods by removing the lutefisk, sliced onions, half-smoked cigars, completely-smoked salmon, the green thing in the back that wasn't that color when you put it in there, and everything else that's stinking up the place. Then put your fresh box of baking soda in and go away for five days.

Now that your fridge no longer stinks (two days before you need the jello salad), go buy fruit and jello. I tend to pick two yellow jello flavors, a green one and two red ones - and yes, they all need to be different, so you get the explosion of multi-flavored fruity goodness in yer yap when you dine on this masterpiece - but if you dig on red, clear and blue ones, go for it.

Once home, pair up the fruits with the jello flavors. For maximal effect be absolutely sure you don't put matching fruit and jello in the same layer...if you have strawberries and strawberry jello - and you probably will - put the strawberries in a different flavor of jello. Prepare the fruit for use.

Now make your first flavor of jello...and for argument's sake you are going to put bananas in strawberry. Make your jello, put it in the bowl, refrigerate it until the gelatin is just kinda slow-moving but not completely set. This keeps it from all floating to the top. At this time you add the fruit and put it back in the fridge until it's completely set.

Your second flavor is a little different: instead of a cup of boiling water and a cup of cold, use a cup of boiling water and a cup of Greek yoghurt. You can stir the fruit right into this one. Gently layer it on top of the first flavor and let it set up nice and hard. It will. It's great.

The third layer is done with water and no yogurt. This one you must cool to close to refrigerator temp before you put into the salad, and you don't pour it on - you very gently ladle it on top of the second layer. Add fruit when it's getting thick.

The fourth layer is yoghurt again. And the fifth is clear. Let it chill overnight to get good and firm before serving.