I can't believe Snopes had to waste time debunking this

[magical thyme]

17. I heard from authoritative sources that the tides will be massively impacted by this

Make sure you stay on high ground. The sea will be sloshing around every which way until it sorts itself out. Nobody can be sure where the new seashores are going to be, though. Also, high tide and low tide will be everywhere, all the time.

They told me to imagine a whisk beating eggs and milk around a bowl. The turbulence. The frothiness. That will be the ocean from Sept. 5 on out.

Sept. 5th -- oh shit! Now I get it!!!! That's my last day at work!!!!! Craps. That's why they dropped me from the schedule. I'll be working right by the docks that day....until I'm gone