That was pretty painful.

[DFW]

3. I don't know which is worse, but that sounds awful

My mom, whose high cholesterol I inherited, knew she was a high risk for a stroke. She instructed us that if and when it came, she did not want to live as a vegetable, and not to let her get there. One fine day, it happened. The ambulance came, and my brother was summoned. He was told to make a decision right there and then, and the doc said like immediately, not in 5 minutes, if he should operate. My brother asked what the best case scenario would be. The doc said she was already brain-dead, so she'd live as a vegetable for maybe six months. My brother knew as well as I did what our mother wanted, so he said let her go, and once he said it, the doc told him he made the right decision, as no one would ever talk to her again anyway.

Your mom can talk, but the issue is to whom, where and when. Your perceptions of those questions are completely different from hers. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right about now. Sorry to hear that you are.