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First Speaker

(4,858 posts)

23. A classic: A man and a dog walk into a bar...

Sat Mar 11, 2017, 09:08 PM

Mar 2017

...and the man says, "my dog can talk. If he answers my questions, will you let me have my drink on the house?" The bartender, intrigued, nods. So the man asks the dog: "OK--what part of a plant is below ground?"
"Root!" the dog answers enthusiastically.
"All right--what's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Finally--who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
The bartender, getting more and more disgusted, kicks the man and the dog out to the curb at this last reply--after getting the man's money for the drink. They sit there, dejected, and the dog turns to the man and says:
"Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"

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Highlight:

What's your favorite "walks into a bar" joke? [View all] red dog 1 Mar 2017 OP

The past, the present & the future walked into a bar. CrispyQ Mar 2017 #1

Good one! red dog 1 Mar 2017 #7

Right off the bat underpants Mar 2017 #82

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. longship Mar 2017 #2

2 Corinthians ....nt pkdu Mar 2017 #3

2 Corinthians walk into a bar, red dog 1 Mar 2017 #9

Not bad...but I think this one is way funnier.. pkdu Mar 2017 #10

Oh, gawd. 3catwoman3 Mar 2017 #48

2 Corinthians walk into a bar, red dog 1 Mar 2017 #22

Yep neeksgeek Mar 2017 #31

A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer ..... Botany Mar 2017 #4

Well benld74 Mar 2017 #5

Love that one! I've told it 100's of times on the golf course (n/t) PJMcK Mar 2017 #26

Duck walks into a bar... lisa58 Mar 2017 #6

Snort. Got me. Lol Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2017 #50

Ego and Superego walk into a bar, red dog 1 Mar 2017 #8

Clever underpants Mar 2017 #83

A skeleton walks in to a bar and asks for a beer and a mop. nt Ptah Mar 2017 #11

... Rhiannon12866 Mar 2017 #53

A piece of string walks into a bar d_r Mar 2017 #12

Corny..but good! red dog 1 Mar 2017 #14

Rec.humor.funny! unblock Mar 2017 #78

A neutron walks into a bar sakabatou Mar 2017 #13

I like it! red dog 1 Mar 2017 #15

Two Zen Buddhists walk into a bar vlyons Mar 2017 #16

A Zen Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Tanuki Mar 2017 #17

have you seen this? BuddyCa Mar 2017 #64

Three Zen Buddhist monks walk into a cave and start meditating silently, red dog 1 Mar 2017 #18

Rene Descartes walks into a bar dragonlady Mar 2017 #19

Not a "walks into a bar" joke, but red dog 1 Mar 2017 #20

Good one! n/t dragonlady Mar 2017 #21

Another horse one. Horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "why to long face?" brush Mar 2017 #38

Oh underpants Mar 2017 #84

A classic: A man and a dog walk into a bar... First Speaker Mar 2017 #23

That's a funny variation of "Hello, My Baby"---- WinkyDink Mar 2017 #25

Not a bar but Mendocino Mar 2017 #24

Just a slight variation True Dough Mar 2017 #27

You're bad PJMcK Mar 2017 #58

Glad to earn your True Dough Mar 2017 #61

One more True Dough Mar 2017 #28

You got me. Laughed out loud. Thanks! Demoiselle Mar 2017 #74

Always happy to provide support! True Dough Mar 2017 #75

Have you heard about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who BigBearJohn Mar 2017 #80

Yes, a joke expertly illustrated True Dough Mar 2017 #81

A horse walks into a bar... Docreed2003 Mar 2017 #29

2 Nuns walk into a bar.... sdfernando Mar 2017 #30

This message was self-deleted by its author COLGATE4 Mar 2017 #32

This. rzemanfl Mar 2017 #33

A battery walks into a bar COLGATE4 Mar 2017 #34

From "Desperato": Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #35

A leprechaun walks into a bar d_r Mar 2017 #36

This one Angleae Mar 2017 #37

In time for St Patrick's Day ... lpbk2713 Mar 2017 #39

Great one! Had forgotten benld74 Mar 2017 #41

A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy walk into a bar ... eppur_se_muova Mar 2017 #40

A guy walks into a bar... Guilded Lilly Mar 2017 #42

From my little brother: Marthe48 Mar 2017 #43

A termite walks into a bar Marthe48 Mar 2017 #44

A guy walks in a bar Marthe48 Mar 2017 #45

Julius Caesar walks in a bar Marthe48 Mar 2017 #46

Guy sitting in a bar Marthe48 Mar 2017 #47

Last one Marthe48 Mar 2017 #49

Giraffe walks in to a bar and says "the high balls are on me!!" Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2017 #51

Bahahaha!!! True Dough Mar 2017 #62

Two guys walk into a bar but the third one ducks. Kablooie Mar 2017 #52

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub discntnt_irny_srcsm Mar 2017 #54

A man walks in to a bar... and it really hurt. tecelote Mar 2017 #55

Five Republicans walk into a bar DFW Mar 2017 #56

*snarf* Good one ! nt eppur_se_muova Mar 2017 #68

A painter, a sculptor and a civil engineer walk into a bar DFW Mar 2017 #57

And all of that right next to the sewage treatment discharge (n/t) PJMcK Mar 2017 #59

OK. MyOwnPeace Mar 2017 #94

I've been waiting patiently... PJMcK Mar 2017 #95

Two guys walk into a bar A HERETIC I AM Mar 2017 #60

Hydrogen Peroxide? red dog 1 Mar 2017 #66

Bingo! A HERETIC I AM Mar 2017 #67

Trump and Julianne Assange walk in to a bar RainCaster Mar 2017 #63

A SQL query ... Kennah Mar 2017 #65

A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church... SchrodingersCatbox Mar 2017 #69

Not bad! red dog 1 Mar 2017 #70

What was his name? underpants Mar 2017 #85

a counterfeiter walks into a bar AmandaRuth Mar 2017 #71

A Roman walks into a bar bif Mar 2017 #72

Did you hear about billh58 Mar 2017 #73

It's not a joking matter tazkcmo Mar 2017 #76

My favorite with a twist! yallerdawg Mar 2017 #77

There is no dog underpants Mar 2017 #87

No, silly! yallerdawg Mar 2017 #88

Oh yeah underpants Mar 2017 #90

The bartender says... Binkie The Clown Mar 2017 #79

That's really good. underpants Mar 2017 #89

This one's a bit off color but I hope it's ok Peachhead22 Mar 2017 #86

I'll just link to the one in 2008... Vilis Veritas Mar 2017 #91

A man and his dog joke. apcalc Mar 2017 #92

Donald Trump walks into a bar red dog 1 Mar 2017 #93

Ba-dump-BUMP! WinkyDink Mar 2017 #96

Angie and Jennifer walk into a bar missingthebigdog Mar 2017 #97

tRump, A Tea Bagger And A Nazi Walk In A Bar.... Grassy Knoll Mar 2017 #98

That reminds me of this one... red dog 1 Mar 2017 #99