Mr. Tavernier passed away last Sunday.

[PinkTiger]

95. I'm freely willing to admit

that I was a basket case after Larry died. Part of that was, we were in a "rough patch" in our marriage at the time, and he was withdrawing into himself. He died in his sleep one night, and I didn't know until 1:30 a.m., because I was up studying (I was in a Ph.D. program at the time). The aftermath was life shaking and very similar to a dream, in that nothing seemed real. This went on for three or so years afterward, even though I had moments of clarity. I was prone to depression and anger, all those emotions.
Too early, I began to have a social life of sorts, but none of my connections were lasting or comforting. I ended up waiting two years before I sold my farm and met a man who had also been widowed.
I'm very happy today, but some of the mistakes I made cost me a great deal of emotional capital that I didn't have in me to expend.
If you have family around you, let them help guide you and soothe all the emotional rollercoaster you are feeling, and get out and have some fun in the process. It's OK: you aren't being disrespectful if you go on with your life.
Be careful, because there are hucksters out there who prey on us when we are vulnerable. BE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS ABOUT NEW PEOPLE WHO COME INTO YOUR LIFE NOW. Have them vetted carefully, and stay off the dating sites, because predators abound there. In about a year or two, you will be ready for a new person in your life, but right now all you are going to attract are people who want to use you for their own reasons. I wish I had done this, but no, and I could tell you stories that would curl your hair, but I won't.