I hate the dog

[Chan790]

11. My best friend's wife had a dog like that.

Not the food. It was only affectionate towards her and hated everybody else. When she wasn't home, in front of the rest of us she'd pee on the floor not ten minutes after we'd taken her out. One day, I was housesitting and had just taken her out where she refused to pee or anything, carried her up the four flights of stairs because she was arthritic (mind you, part-Shepard mutt. Not light!), opened the door for her she walked 4 feet inside, turned around, looked me in the eye and shat on the floor. It destroyed every piece of furniture it was not allowed on. It stole food. It shredded pillows. It gnawed on the edge of the marble countertop. It growled and acted aggressive to inanimate objects. No matter what it did, it was anybody's fault but the dog. The damned dog nearly ruined her marriage before it began.

I hated that dog. My best friend hated that dog. All his wife's friends hated that dog. Then it died and she was inconsolable and we all had to quietly celebrate on the inside. I love animals, all animals...but that dog was a demon of malice. If there's a dog-hell...that dog is there.