irresponsibility, not "independence." I think "Amyworld" is Joe's way of referring to and dealing with her alcoholism and other issues. And most of us don't have the means or the time to be "fiercely independent"; we have actual life responsibilities and duties other than telling the maid where to put the clean dishes. My stepdad was an alkie while I was growing up, so I well know the signs of such dysfunction in a family.
I do think that the Phanthavongs settled because it was best for their own healing and they wanted it to be done with so they didn't have to continually deal with it. God forbid that ever happen to my own son, but, if it did, I know that, while I would want the guilty party to pay criminally and civilly, I also would not want to have it drag on and on.
I actually don't even live in MN. I live in a neighboring state, but attend graduate school in the Twin Cities during the week and go home on weekends. That's how I first heard of and know about this case, it happened just as I started school, so I kept following it.