Male erotica in the LGBT group: Why now? What's changed?

[Ms. Toad]

81. The place of nude and semi-clothed depictions of people

really does play a very different role in the lesbian v. the gay culture. It is a minor part, and tends to be more abstract and focused on sensuality, and generally less "in your face" in the lesbian culture, Existing in a culture (how you described it in this post - and I would say is accurate for the lesbian culture) - is very different from being part and parcel of a culture (how you described it in your first post - which I would say is accurate for gay male culture). If you pick up any gay newspaper, the difference should be pretty obvious - as it should from the threads here which, as far as I know, have all been males. The predominance of scantily clad males in sexually inviting poses does make me feel as if this (newspaper, this group, wherever that balance exists) is a place that is not mine, and I am a tolerated intruder rather than a welcome member. Your initial comment - which focused on the prevalence in gay male culture as if it were the prevalence in all LGBT culture is part of that. I'm not ascribing any deliberate intent on your part to generalize the gay perspective as that of the LGBT community - it is just what happens in our culture (very broadly) because unless we are intentional about it, the norm is still - unfortunately - whatever the norm is for men. That tendency is often even stronger in our smaller LGBT culture for reasons that I'm not even sure I could articulate.

As to what I want - I haven't been avoiding saying it - I said in my first post (#22) that if we were voting I would vote to not have them. The rest of what I have said has been in response to other contributors (more about that below).

I also suggested it was worth exploring whether others feel the same way, and whether it might be a contributing factor to what seems to me to be a population in this group which is heavily weighted toward the male end of the spectrum.

The tone of most of the responses is much more troubling to me than the beefcake threads themselves. Your response is the mildest, but it still presents the gay male perspective as the perspective of the LGBT community as a whole, and focuses on our presentation to the world (and see post #46). My concern whether the presence of these threads contributes to an atmosphere that discourages participation in this group by some parts of our community. As I have said, it does, for me - and there may be others. The responses have almost universally had a tone of hostility - disbelief, offense that I would express my feeling of being an outsider in my own community, accusations that I am a man-hater and troll, and offense at exaggerated characterizations of what I actually said. I have responded much more strongly to those reactions (mostly because they caught me completely off guard) than to the original question. I suspect it is why it feels like lobbying to you.

I encourage you to look through these threads and see the responses that the expression of my personal feelings have generated, and ask yourself whether other people who have similar feelings about our shared space (if there are others) would feel invited to express those feelings. (And I see, by this morning, that there are at least two new voices suggesting some level of discomfort, one suggesting she has been quiet about her discomfort because of the kind of reaction I have been getting.)

If beefcake threads are what the group wants - fine. I have a very strong real life LGBT community, which includes a lot of sexual play but which is very intentional about making sure that play is inclusive rather than exclusive. I am not in search of another LGBT home. I may drop in occasionally to share something I have run across that I think folks here might be interested in, but I won't likely spend a lot of time here. I don't now. The only real difference is that now anyone who is curious about group demographics has a clue why at least one lesbian is an infrequent participant.