Male erotica in the LGBT group: Why now? What's changed?

[Ms. Toad]

127. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

It is characteristic of the kind of discussion we ought to be able to have about what content we want or don't want in this space (and why, or why not).

Had more of the responses been made with the tone and thoughtfulness of yours, losing a vote (or however we agree to decide what is ok in this space) would be no big deal.

I disagree with your characterization of the concern raised - my experience is not based on artificial mores that have arisen from superstitions. It arises out of the differences which often exist between gay men and lesbians about the role of public explicitly sexual behavior within our communities. It plays a much more prominent role in gay men's communities, and a much less prominent role in lesbian communities (and I don't have enough experience to speak beyond those two pieces of our community). It is a tension that has been present in every real life LGBT group I have been part of, and in those communities, out of respect for each other, we have openly discussed and reached compromises so that the shared space is inviting to all of us.

My take-away from this discussion is that this is gay men's space and those most vocal in this community have no interest in making sure it is an inviting place for all of us. I am welcome to visit or post here, but any expression that this space makes me, as a lesbian or a woman, feel unwelcome will be met with hostility and ridicule.

That, from my perspective, is far worse than the threads themselves, because it is the same as the response that angers us when we hear it from the wider DU community in response to members of this community suggesting that we feel unwelcome out there.