Male erotica in the LGBT group: Why now? What's changed?

[Prism]

130. But why does it make you feel uncomfortable?

I ask that question quite in earnest, because the picture threads are mostly readily recognized and avoidable. It feels a little like flipping through the cable guide, seeing a particularly wretched film listed, and calling Comcast to register an objection. I don't have to watch Gigli, and no one can make me click on it.

I'm sympathetic to your feelings to a degree. Gay male culture can make me uncomfortable (this is actually a whole 'nother discussion, but I'll paraphrase briefly). When I was younger and just coming out, around 18 or so, I did not much fit into the generally desirable physical type at the time in the particular corner of the gay world I inhabited. In a bar culture that valued thin, hairless twinks, I was musclebound with a hairy chest. I knew nothing about bear culture and all that. I just knew there was a type that was obsessed over, and it made me uncomfortable, shy, and feel ostracized.

To this day, I register a light disdain or hurt because it makes me think back to that time when I felt lonely and ugly as a gay youth who kept encountering men who seemed to only be attracted to barely pubescent 13 year-olds. That feeling persists even though I have a very healthy self-image as a 33 year-old. (I was damn cute back then, I now realize. I just didn't know the right people). The weird cliquishness and typing that I encountered actually soured me on the community in a way that persists to this day. I don't go to bars or socialize with many other LGBT people on account of it. (again, this is a long sub-discussion for a different day).

But even with that history, I see the pics, roll my eyes, and move on. It's not my bag, but in a forum where I control what I do and do not consume, a choice I dislike remains just that - a choice. It isn't like a community center meeting where we're all captive to what other people are doing. You know, if you showed up at a gay event in a crowded room, it was everyone running around in thongs, I would totally understand digging in and objecting vocally. But that just isn't the case in this forum. Our experience is shaped by ourselves. I don't share the OP's or your concern primarily because my experience of this forum isn't similar due to my unwillingness to click on those threads.

Those picture threads don't make me feel welcome or unwelcome here. What shapes my feelings towards this forum are the friendships I've made over the years. Pics are pics. People count more. It's the people who decide how often I visit, not the content.

I wish that were the case for everyone, and if there's a way I can make that so, please let me know.