LGBT

DURHAM D

(33,068 posts)

3. You guys have all the fun...

Wed Jan 11, 2012, 11:03 AM

Jan 2012

In the 60s and 70s every male couple I knew was in an open relationship. As a lesbian it was fascinating to watch and realize that they had a good working model for maintaining long term relationships. Some lesbians felt threatened by the setup but I just watched and passed no judgment. Well frankly I was envious.

Once the plague arrived my male couple friends tried to re-tool and be more like us. It was difficult - It was painful - It didn't work.

The best marriages I have observed over the years are between nonmonogamous gay males and a few nonmonogamous hetero couples.

The article describes the essentials of making an open relationship work. The rules are the same now as they were then - You just gotta talk to each other.

cheers

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The Gay Male Couple�s Guide to Nonmonogamy [View all] xchrom Jan 2012 OP

That's been my experience, too MNBrewer Jan 2012 #1

i've never done monogamy -- i'm not interested in it. xchrom Jan 2012 #2

You guys have all the fun... DURHAM D Jan 2012 #3

�Monogamy rarely does work for more than two years � for most straight and bi men as well.� Fearless Jan 2012 #4

+1000! William769 Jan 2012 #5

Amen! queerart Jan 2012 #16

Doesn't the word "rarely" in the quote indicate that it's not 100%? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #20

Rarely assumes that monogamous gays are an extreme minority. Fearless Jan 2012 #24

I think studies bear out that "monogamy" IS in the minority. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #28

That's not true. closeupready Jan 2012 #29

I can't post a link to it. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #32

You asserted the claim, so the burden is your's to substantiate it, not mine. closeupready Jan 2012 #35

See post 34 MNBrewer Jan 2012 #36

That study does NOT support your claim. closeupready Jan 2012 #37

By doing what? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #38

Alright, then MNBrewer Jan 2012 #39

That STILL does not support your initial claim. closeupready Jan 2012 #40

My claim was that most long term couples aren't monogamous MNBrewer Jan 2012 #43

Wrong. The data shows most DO agree to monogamy. closeupready Jan 2012 #44

Wrong MNBrewer Jan 2012 #45

No. The data do NOT show that at all. closeupready Jan 2012 #46

What they said the agreed to was not what they were MNBrewer Jan 2012 #47

ok. I'm done here. You're wrong, but there's no discussing this with you, IMO. closeupready Jan 2012 #48

I have to respectfully disagree. Fearless Jan 2012 #30

How many of those "monogamous" couples really were? MNBrewer Jan 2012 #33

In the second linked article. MNBrewer Jan 2012 #34

To which I add Fearless Jan 2012 #42

This is something often not spoken of in our community. It's an "elephant in the room." Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #6

in my early years i considered my self a failure for either straying myself or xchrom Jan 2012 #7

And there are still many, to this day, who try to shame you for it. Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #8

i think part of it was a kind of finally surrendering to being Gay. xchrom Jan 2012 #9

I think you are exactly correct. Behind the Aegis Jan 2012 #10

Lol! - yeah - I didn't want to be misunderstood. Nt xchrom Jan 2012 #11

Interesting. BigDemVoter Jan 2012 #12

Something I think we can all relate to. xchrom Jan 2012 #13

I agree it's situational HillWilliam Jan 2012 #21

Every relationship is different, every circumstance special....My partner and I Rowdyboy Jan 2012 #14

Y'all sound a lot like us HillWilliam Jan 2012 #22

We're pretty much coming from the same place...Don't you love being in love with your best friend? Rowdyboy Jan 2012 #25

It's true. We're like two halves of the same thing. HillWilliam Jan 2012 #27

"... he smells really, really good." LOL, yes, that's always a plus. closeupready Jan 2012 #26

I don't have any problem with open relationships. Not sure why closeupready Jan 2012 #15

IMO, this makes it sound like being gay is all about the sex theAntiRand Jan 2012 #17

You "don't follow the logic"....???? Yes, sex is logical, therefore these couples must be following closeupready Jan 2012 #18

BWAH! HillWilliam Jan 2012 #23

It should be about what is best for the individual Fearless Jan 2012 #19

That's probably what you think. Call Me Wesley Jan 2012 #31

Emotions aren't logical, Mr. Spock. GodlessBiker Jan 2012 #41